Happy Almost New Year!

****PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE send me an e-mail to sarahbeara (at) gmail dot com if you want your weight loss blog to be linked on my side bar. I am going to attempt a revamp of my site (I don't want to forget anyone and I would love to find some new blogs for all you lurkers out there!). I also need to organize my blog links so it is easier for me to read everyone's updates.****

Christmas 2007
I spent the holiday with my family on a cruise ship in the Bahamas. We left on 12/22 and got back on 12/29. It was fun, but it did not feel like Christmas at all. I think I was in St. Marten on Christmas. My mom bought me a cute little pair of sapphire earrings there. Other then that we didn't really exchange gifts. I got my mom a few things, but that was it. They paid for my cruise and everything else that week which was SUPER nice. I played a lot of bingo. I didn't win, but it was still a nice way to spend time with my family. I did exercise everyday on the cruise though. They had a track that I would walk around for at least an hour 1-2 times a day. Plus all the walking in the ports. I did make it to the gym once. It was lame, so I had no desire to rush back. Eating was great the first 2 days and after that it was all down hill. The scale showed a 5 lb increase today since I left for the cruise. I am not sure how much of that is due to going out last night... All in all it was a great trip and I am really glad I was able to go. I will post pictures soon. I wanted to post them today, but somehow when I transfered them from my camera to my computer I lost a few and I am not really sure what happened :(

Resolutions
We all make them. I am not really going to make any one resolution, but I just want to be healthier. I want to get to the gym everyday. I want to eat good meals. My CSA has been amazingly helpful with this. I have made some great squash soups, eaten amazing salads, and really just forced myself to get creative (Thanks Sally for sharing your soup recipe! I am going to make it this week!)

I am going to start journaling and keeping points again. I won't really be doing so much on here, but I will keep a record for myself.

Another thing I need to work on is balancing a social life with eating healthy. Take last night for example. I did wonderfully well all day and worked out for over 2 hours. Then I met up with my friends at the bar where Zach and I would go a lot. I didn't suggest it though. I love the place. The bartenders know me, I have a stupid VIP card that gets me discounts and its comfortable. Plus on Sundays and Mondays it is 2 for one pizza and draft beer. So I had 3 Jack and Diane's (only paid for 2) and way too many pieces of pizza and house made potato chips with Gorgonzola cheese and a cheddar horseradish dipping sauce. GAH!

When I started the whole weight loss thing 4 years ago, I was social, but no where near as social as I am now. This is going to be a tough one.

Speaking of social, yesterday was pretty much my perfect day. I woke up early and went to the gym. I came back to my place and made 2 small Yukon Gold potatoes with a can of rotel on top and had a 100 cal pack of crackers while it cooked. I took my time getting ready. I went to the mall and bought some great clothes at the Gap and 2 new bras. I also go a manicure. (black nails! I love them!) I miss the $6 manicure I got in NYC :( I am really going to try to get one ever 1-2 weeks. It just makes me feel good. And black is my new signature color after this second manicure with black polish. After the mall I went grocery shopping to get soup fixings. When I got home I made a black eyed pea and barley soup. Throughout the day my phone would ring with friends and my mom calling me to see what my plans were for the day and for today. It was nice. I also called a few friends as well. It just made me feel loved. I topped the day off with dinner out with my friends.

I wish you all the best of luck in your ventures for 2008 and they you will be happy and healthy!

Thank you for reading and for the support. I love you all!

Ugly Christmas Sweater Pub Crawl

It was awesome! We didn't crawl very far...we stayed at the same bar all night.

Pics can be seen here.

Here is a full body shot of my outfit, horrible angle, but you get the idea.



Happy Holidays!

One Step at a Time

So I am really working on my eating. I had a few setback yesterday, but I am conscious of them.

For breakfast at home I have a bowl of oatmeal with splenda, crasains, and skim milk.

At work I ran into some trouble I have 2 (yes two) apple fritters and 3 cookies. Yikes!

Ok, so for lunch we went to Chilli's. This used to be one of my favorite places, but not so much anymore. I got the guiltless grilled chicken with 2 sides of steamed veggies and the corn. I had one chip! My co-workers polished of 2 baskets between the 3 of them. Normally I would have been digging in right along with them. I didn't even miss them.

I had to run a camera at the basketball game last night so I ate at work. I was able to snag a salad with crasains, pecans, and apples, with the dressing on the side. I did have one small bag of popcorn.

Then after work I met Zach for drinks where I consumed for Jack and Diane's aka Jack and Diet Coke's. It was nice. We just caught up for a bit, laughed, and the time flew by. Oh and I had some Egg Nog Ice cream when I got home. I could have done without the ice cream and I need to throw it away tonight.

Today I had oatmeal at home. I had a 100 cal pack of popcorn for a mid morning snack. For lunch I had left of pei wei spicy chicken, string cheese, and 100 cal pack of ritz sour cream and onion crackers.

Tonight is the ugly Christmas Sweater Pub Crawl some friends and I are hosting. So I will be drinking lots. My boss just said since it is so dead we are leaving in an hour and a half! I have some cleaning and packing I need to do before I leave on Saturday.

So I am starting to freak out about the cruise. I have no clue what to take and I don't feel prepared at all. Thank god I have a half day tomorrow so I can start to pack. Also, I am a little (ok a lot) worried about food on board. I don't want to just eat and eat and eat on board. I know they will have a gym and I am going to workout even though it is a vacation. I love working out so I am going to do it. As far as food goes I am going to try to eat as many fruits and vegetables as possible.

Watch for pictures from tonight's festivities!

I am at work right now and I am holding back the tears. I just started to read some of my older posts from the beginning of this year. What happened to me? Where did my optimism go? This is the first year in 4 years I will have not lost any weight. I pretty much maintained. It is so hard. I feel so close to where I want to be, yet so far away. I don't want to live the rest of my life longing for a skinny body.

Right now I feel disgusted with myself. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. Blame it on the holidays, stress, TOM, what have you. I need to change my behavior. No more putting things off. I just need to do it.

I love NYC and all the food...

So I am such a sucker. I ate and ate and ate some more. I mean I know Chipotle and Jamba are all over the US, but they are in NYC. My food intake consisted of Starbucks twice, Jamba twice, Chipotle once, Serendipity once, The Burger joint once, and a few other yummy places as well.

Got in late Thursday night. I spent Friday morning at the Museum of Modern Art and really, really missed Paris. Like my heart was aching a little bit. They had one of the original Metropolitan signs in the courtyard, but of course the courtyard was closed because of the weather :( After the museum I met back up with Jenny and we headed to Rockafeller Center and did Top of the Rock and also watched the ice skaters. We headed to union square and ate some yummy mac and cheese at this place that only serves mac in cheese in different varieties of course. Then we stopped for my first Jamba. Next we saw the play the Seafarer.

Saturday we tried for rush wicked tickets with no success :( Lunch at Chipotle and the ice skating at Central Park! We walked around the park for a good amount of time considering how cold it was. We tried again for rush wicked tickets with no luck. We went to the TKTS booth and got half price Spring Awakening tickets. Yeah! It was awesome. I am so glad we saw that one. After the play we went to Serendipity. Even after the health scare we still had a hour wait. Oh well. It was yummy and now I have been there.

Sunday we slept in. The weather was really wet and cold. We grabbed lunch and then went and had a manicure and pedicure. I LOVE my black nail polish. It might be my new thing. After we headed back downtown for Pinkberry. I just thought it was OK. I don't really get what the big deal is. We were going to get tea, but the line was way too long. We settled on seeing the Atonement. Dinner was at the Burger Joint in the Le Parker Meridian. SO YUMMY!

I caught in early Monday morning flight to Nashville. I worked all day yesterday until 9 PM :( I had today off and did a bunch of shopping that I haven't done for my cruise that leaves on Saturday. EEEEEEK. I am nowhere near ready. I work tomorrow until 9ish and drink after with a friend. I am hosting an ugly sweater pub crawl on Thursday. On Friday my dad is here for the night and then we fly to Orlando on Saturday. Oy. I have a busy couple of day.

Pictures from my trip can be seen here.

Here is my favorite, right after ice skating:

Lesson Learned by Alicia Keys

He broke a heart
And now it's raining
Just to rub it in
I'm at your door
I feel so crazy about it
You'll say I told you so
You saw it long ago
You knew he had to go
I finally came 'round
I'm back on solid ground
Can't let it get me down

It's alright
It's alright
It's alright

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Sometimes
Some lies
Can take a minute
To fully realize
His tears
Your eyes
Thirty seconds to apologize
You give it one more chance
Just like the time before
But he already know you'd give a hundred more
Until that night in bed
You wake up in a sweat
You're racing to the door
Can't take it anymore

I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Life perfect
Ain't perfect
If you don't know what the struggle's for
Falling down ain't falling down
If you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's called the past cause I'm getting past
And I ain't nothing like I was before
You ought to see me now

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned

I am off to NYC to visit my bestie!

Balancing Life

Last week was the most social I had been in such a long time.

Monday: Dinner and bar hopping with my friend
Tuesday: Class until 9, Bar hoping with the same friend and out until 4:30 AM
Wednesday: Dinner with same friend, but in bed, but 10 PM.
Thursday: Class until 9 and then bar hopping until 12:30 AM.
Friday: Dinner with friends and bar hopping until about midnight
Saturday: Dinner at the friend of a cousins place. Early night. Home by 11:30!
Sunday: NOTHING! I was in bed by 10 PM and prior to that I vegged and watched my favorite movie: Love Actually.

Worked out on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday

Food not so great. Drinks not so great. I really, really need to work on moderation when going out.

This week looks to be busy too, but not as busy. I leave for NYC on Thursday night!!!!!

I need to finish up a take home final and I will be done with my last fall semester EVER! Tomorrow night I have dinner at my professor's house.

I am off to the gym. I hope you all had a great Monday.

New Haircut!!!

A Little Embarrassed

So I went to the gym around 8:30 AM this morning. I don't think I have been to the gym this earlier on a Saturday morning. As I was driving in I was thinking about the person I was before I started dating the ex. I was going to the gym at 5 AM in the morning. I was getting up earlier on the weekends to go to the gym and do other things. When we started dating, that pretty much stopped. I mean watching a movie at 9:30 PM and one person (me) falling asleep isn't exactly a good time. It made me a little sad thinking about all of this. I have changed my gym schedule a little bit now. No early mornings for me any more. I try to go during lunch or later at night. It just works better with my schedule right now.

So back to the gym this morning. I am walking in and I see this guy (My nickname for him is Meathead, but only in mind) who I would see every morning at 5 AM in the weight area. I put my stuff in a cubby and he walks in the other direction. Phew. I avoided him. Or at least I thought. I guess I was a little embarrassed that I feel like I have "let myself go." I really need to get over that whole feeling. I stopped working out for a bit and I know it could have been a lot worse. So I start walking towards the weight area and Meathead slows down and stops right in front of me, turns around, and says "Where have you been!?" I then proceed to tell him about boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/grad school. I found myself defending my behavior to a total stranger. He tells me is glad to see me back. I quickly walk off and stretch and then go to the weight area to start my squats and dead lifts (great for the butt and thighs!). He is over there as well. About 20 minutes later he comes over and tells me that I am in a zone. Really I am not. I am doing my workout, but I could probably tell you what every guy was doing in the weight area. He then introduces himself as Steve. So Meathead now has a name. We're personal. He tells me again he is glad to see I am back and wondered where I went because I was so intense about my workouts. Me intense?!? Whoah.

Ok so a couple of observations from this workout.
1. Someone noticed I was gone.
2. Someone said I was intense about my workouts.
3. I really miss weight training and I am SO glad to have started back.

Please pray for my trainer at home in WV. I saw him the Friday after Thanksgiving and he was in the hospital that Monday in critical care. He is having some gallbladder problems and isn't out of the woods yet.

A thought

Today was a crazy day. I really can't get into all the details right now, but this afternoon I really felt like my head was spinning and I was borderline manic. It was a surreal feeling.

Anyway, think about this:

"Ideas wither and die without action. Get involved."

So Thankful

I had a nice Thanksgiving at home. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have no homework to do. I got in Wednesday around 6 and met some friends up at 9 for a few drinks and then went downtown to meet another friend. Thursday was spent with the family. I did go on an awesome 1 hour run around the neighborhood.

Friday I went to the gym and worked out with my beloved trainer. We did squats, clean/jerk/press, bench presses, and dead lifts. I haven't seen him in almost a year. It was so nice to work out with him again and see where I am at. Now I can really start getting back into the gym like I did previously. Later that afternoon my mom and I went shopping. That night I went over to a friends house.

I spent most of Saturday doing homework. SO not fun at all. I will be really glad when my MBA is finished.

And today I drove home. However, I stopped in Lexington and had lunch with the lovely Krissie at COSI.

I have been doing homework since I got home and I am so tired. I am sorry for the boring update. Hopefully things will liven up a bit this week.

It was meant to be...

So I just got back from the gym. It was one of those 2 hour+ workouts I haven't had in a LONG time. It had the potential to be disastrous when my ipod died about 5 seconds into the first song. But I rolled with it. I stretched and did weights for about 40 minutes and then it was time for cardio. I struggled for a minute with what I would do. It's easy to read on the bike and while I do work up a sweat it gets pretty boring. I opted for the arc trainer knowing that I could get the book thing so I could read my book easily.

Over the past 2 weeks I have been reading and researching a lot. I am reading How to Change the World by David Bornstein which is about social entrepreneurs. I have also been researching South African Housing. I know I might have lost some of you, but I swear this stuff is really interesting. Before I got on the arc trainer I perused the magazine racks to see of there were any gossip magazines I haven't read yet, no dice. I got on and started reading my book. Then by chance I look up at the magazine rack nearest me and see the word "AFRICA." I look over the cover and immediately get off the machine and grab the magazine before someone else could. It was meant to be that while I am in the midst of researching South Africa here is a Vanity Fair from July of 2007 made randomly available to me. I don't ever take magazines from the gym or doctors offices, but I made an exception for this one. I just read the first few pages and I am SO excited to finish it. Have no fear I will at least take it to the gym or pass it along to someone who will get just as much knowledge from it as I have.

I'm Here, I'm Here!

Ok, so tonight I just finished my second week of the 5 week term. I only have one class, but it meets twice a week and it is KICKING my butt. This class is not conducive at al to my typical wait until the last two weeks of class and do my work strategy. I have been doing HW for what seems like the past 4 days/nights. It's a negotiations class and I have to prepare pre-negotiation documents as well as post analysis, PLUS additional assignments. We negotiate every class. I am learning a lot, but it is intense. In other school related news, I am working on a business plan for a social entrepreneurship project creating a low income, green house for South Africa.

So kickball season ended last week, we lost in the first round :(

I have been keeping myself busy hanging out with friends.

I saw the Smashing Pumpkins on Sunday night. It was awesome. I did however drink a little too much beer.

My eating has been awful. I haven't really had trouble with portion control, I just haven't been picking the best things. Like I have had 2 HUGE lemon poppy-seed muffins this week.

I have made it to the gym Monday (twice), Tuesday, and today. I also had my final fitness assessment on Monday. Over the 8 weeks I have lost 6 lbs, a few inches off my waist, and improved my flexibility! I just need to stick with it now! I think the motivation that my pants I bought last year fit again is great motivation!

I have got a busy weekend of HW, dinners with friends, hanging out with my little, and gym time. 2.5 day work week and then I am heading home to WV for Thanksgiving!

Am I ever going to be ok?

Sometimes I feel like I have my life together and other times I feel like I have no clue what I am doing. I just had a good cry while I was on the phone with my dad dealing with some jealousy issues and uncertainty about my future. Yeah, it's rough and maybe I am just being overly dramatic. And then I proceeded to eat an almost full snack size bag of snickers. Why do I do this? Why do I soothe myself with food? Will it ever stop? Will I ever be in control?

I can't get over the fact that I want to plan my entire life. Or at least outline it. Outlines change, they are not permanent, but at least they provide some guidance.

I want to be successful, I want to be giving, I want stability, and I want to enjoy my life. Yet I feel like I can't control anything.


Some possible options for the future:
Quit my job and move
Volunteer/work in South Africa
Launch my website
Move somewhere besides Nashville
Work for a non-profit (if I could get a job at one I would want, I am not sure I am even qualified)

I know I am having some post trip depression blues right now, but to be quite honest I have been feeling like this for a little while now.

Tired

I am so tired right now. I went to bed last night around 9:30ish. I had a wonderful dinner with Nikki and Chris who were in town for the (canceled) Smashing Pumpkins show. After a previous full day of travel I was tired by the end of the night. I wish I could have stayed up later and gone to a bar with them.

I didn't go in to work at all today. I told my boss I might swing by, but in the end I had no desire to go and just decided to take the day for myself. I did more laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, went to the gym, went grocery shopping, and caught up with a few friends. However, I did not sleep well last night and had two of the most awful charlie horses. I am meeting friends for dinner in about in hour and I will probably go to bed shortly after I get home.

I am working on organizing my trip photos. I have only uploaded one which was taken a the top of Table Mountain. Sorry for the squinty eyes.

I'm Back From the Rainbow Nation!

I had the most amazing time in South Africa. I need to get back.

It took 31 hours door to door from Cape Town to Nashville on the return home. I can now say that I have been drunk, sobered up, and hung over all on one flight. Oh and I chatted up the guy who checked me in and scored the exit row baby for the Cape Town to Dulles flight. I had so much leg room that when my legs were extended they didn't even touch the seat in front of me. My ankles however are SO swollen.

I got in around 10 AM and put in a load of laundry and then went to the gym for over an hour and a half. I ate so much food and drank so much wine and beer that my body has been in total shock this past week.

I am in the process of uploading and organizing my pictures and of course I will let you all know when they are uploaded.

I am also in the process of catching up on all my blog reading. I have missed you all!

After this trip I have realized I really do love traveling and have done quite a bit. Just looking through my passport there are only about 3 pages with no stamps on them.

So my question to all of you, (lurkers included!) tell me what your favorite vaction/travel destination is or where you would love to go. I am looking for suggestions for my 2008 trip(s) :)

It's Business Time....

Ah yeah. That's right at 10:55 AM tomorrow I will be leaving Nashville on my first flight. I will arrive in DC, wait a few hours and catch a 17 hour flight(OH MY GOD, how am I going survive seventeen freaking hours on a plane????????) to Johannesburg. After that flight I catch a much shorter flight to Cape Town.

I AM SO FREAKIN EXCITED about this trip :)

I will have tons of video and pictures on my return. I get back on November 4 and then I have a Smashing Pumpkins concert on November 5th :) Oh and I just booked my flight to go visit my best friend in NYC in December :)!!!!!

The Body Mass Index

I am pretty sure we have all heard of the body mass index. According to the Wikipedia page it was invented between 1830 and 1850. An individual's BMI should be between 18-25. According to the BMI I am overweight. I am 6ft tall and around 195 right now. That puts me at about 7 lbs overweight.

Do I really look overweight here? You don't need to answer!


My friend M (love you girl and I am SO proud of you), posted this link on her blog about a photo essay on flickr depicting various pictures of people, their height, weight, and BMI. It's amazing to look at who is overweight, underweight, obese, and average. I highly suggest you take a look here and look through all 111 pictures, not just the ones at the beginning.

I am going to brag for a little bit...

I have been doing a pretty awesome job of eating well and exercising over the past couple of weeks. While not perfect, I am making it work for me. My food choices still aren't as good as I would like them to be and I am working on that. The gym seriously rocks. I am SO glad I signed up for the Jumpstart training program and got in. It was the swift kick in the butt I needed to get back into the swing of things. Like I said before I can SEE my muscles returning! I worked out yesterday with my trainer during lunch and then in the evening I went to the Y for more cardio. I love going to the Y on Thursday nights because I can watch the Office :) I did 1 minute intervals of walking/running on the cross country setting on the treadmill for 60 minutes.

I need to finish a paper for my South Africa class tonight. I have class tomorrow (yes on a Saturday!) to prepare for the trip. I need to go shopping and buy some last minute clothes for my trip and possibly an iPod Nano. I am still deciding if I should get one... I got a perfect travel rain jacket last night at REI for $43. It was on sale and I really couldn't believe that it was just what I was looking for. Oh, and it is a Medium!

Dinner and possibly a movie with one of my friends Saturday night. We both want to try something new, so who knows where we will end up. Sunday brunch with another friend and then pizza at my favorite bar for dinner with another friend. I like to keep myself busy :) And at some point I need to fit in the gym.

I must be doing something right

My roommate who I haven't seen since Wednesday night just told me I look like I have lost weight!!! This is so what I needed to hear. The past week has been a real struggle. I have been doing really well with exercise, but only ok with food. I have had some serious run ins with the Sam's size Crasain bag. I have also had some deliciously wonderful meals on Friday and Saturday nights that were not the most point friendly. However, I think I might had had the best meal I have had in a long time on Saturday night. I think it was a little bit of everything that made the dinner so great. My friend and I split a bottle of wine. I ordered an appetizer of hummus, apples, grapes, pears, and a red pepper relish (there is some fancy word for it and I just can't remember it right now). It was served with a crusty white bread and various crackers. YUM! My entree was a perfectly seasoned pork that I couldn't re-create if I tried served over roasted potato and sweet potato spears. Topped with a lovely purple cabbage coleslaw and some sort of fried potato chips but they were really small! Oh my gosh it was simply amazing. We sat and chatted and the whole meal last well over 2 hours. After dinner, 3 of us went to another bar for a drink. It was such a great night.

Now I need to finish up my paper...

Isn't It Crazy?

Isn't it crazy that it took a boy breaking up with me to discover my dreams?

For the first time in a year (before I started dating said boy), I am living my life the way I want it to be.

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
-mary anne radmacher

South Africa

2 weeks from today I will be on my way to Capetown, South Africa for a little over aweek. My MBA program requires an international trip. Various ones are planned each year. I have always wanted to go to South Africa so I knew this was the trip for me. I will be going on visits to South African businesses and culture trips like a Safari!, wine tasting, etc.! I am so excited and at the same time I feel utterly unprepared. Slowly I am checking things off my to do list and I will be leaving before I know it!

Pre-Training Results

Below are the results from my pre-training consultation. I can already see improved muscle tone, so I am really happy about that. Eating the past 3 days hasn't been the best. (There has been some late night snacking involving crasains and peanut butter.) I have however made it to the gym EVERY SINGLE day this week! I ran/walked on the treadmill last night and watched the office. I took an extended lunch today and worked out for about 1.5 hours. Yeah!!! I think my close are starting to fit better, but that could all be in my head too.
Weight: 202 lbs
Resting Heart Rate (Pulse): 58bpm

**REMEMBER: We will reassess all of these measurements and perform all of the tests at the end of Jumpstart to see your progress. No matter what your results strive for improvement.

BMI: 27.41
Classification: Overweight
Risk Category: Increased Risk
BMI stands for Body Mass Index and it goes strictly by your height (in meters) and your weight (in kg). It does not take into consideration your muscle to fat ratio, so it is not the best measure of your true Body Composition. For example, a study was done on Pro Football teams and, according to their BMI, almost all of them were obese. So you can see that the BMI is not always accurate. However, it is a strong indication of health risks for people who lead very sedentary lives. What this means for you: Your classification puts you at an increased r risk for cardiovascular disease. You can lower this risk by regular exercise and healthy eating habits which you will learn throughout this program.

Circumference
Hips: 45.5
Waist: 36
Waist to Hip Ratio: (W/H) .79
Rating: High
Circumference measurements are taken to see where more adipose (or fat) tissue concentrates on the body. Though undesirable to most people, lower body fat is actually healthier for you than upper body fat because of its distance from the heart. We take these measurements not only to chart progress of losing inches, but to take a waist to hip ratio which can help us determine your risk for disease. Again, the measurements are one fits all, but our bodies come in different shapes and sizes. Some one who is “thin” but has no hips or no waist will throw off the measurements and likewise with someone who is heavier. However, take notice of your inches on your waist and hips and compare them with inches lost after six weeks.
What this means for you: This measurement indicates you are at a High risk for weight related diseases such as Heart Disease and Diabetes. This is probably a better indicator for disease than the BMI because it is an actual measurement. This also tells us that your body tends to store its fat around the abdomen which can actually be more harmful since it is closer to the heart.







3 site Skinfolds
Triceps: 15cm
Supraillium: 11cm
Thigh: 26cm
Percent Body Fat: 20.6%
We take Skinfold measurements with the calipers. Know up front that these calipers have an error of about +/-3%. While we try to be consistent with our measurements, we can’t always be 100% accurate. We take measurements from three different sites and add them up to get a final reading. We then plug this number into your age range and get a percentage.
What this means for you: 20.6% Body Fat puts you in the 60th percentile for females around your age. This is a very healthy body fat percent. JumpStart will help you maintain this and probably decrease this number too.

Cardiorespiratory Fitness
VO2: 44.38ml/kg/min
Rating: Above Average 90%
Cardiorespiratory Fitness is measured by VO2 Max. These numbers reflect how well you use oxygen during and after exercise. It is a way to tell how efficiently your cardiovascular, respiratory, and skeletal muscular systems are running. Your heart is a muscle, too, and should be worked out just like your other muscles. Doing cardiovascular exercise for at least 30 minutes a day at least 4 or 5 times a week will keep your heart in tip-top shape!
What this means for you: Increasing your VO2Max is something everyone should always be working on. Increasing your VO2 Max through JumpStart is going to take dedication to your cardio training with your trainer, but also dedication to staying active and getting cardio in on days you are not training.


Grip Strength
Total Grip: 75kg
Rating: Above Average
Grip strength testing tells us how strong of a grip you possess. You have to have some form of a grip to use weights. This is just an indicator of where you are starting out with weight training.

Push Up Endurance Test
# Repetitions: 12
Percentile: 30 %
Push Up Endurance Test measures muscular endurance. We use this or the curl up test to test how long your muscles can go before they reach exhaustion. Sometimes, our brain tells us we are done before our body does, but most often than not, this test is pretty good indicator of your endurance. As you work with your trainer for this program, you will notice that if you work on it, your endurance can increase dramatically in even six weeks!
What this means for you: You are classified as below average for your age group and gender for muscular endurance. Continue pushing yourself through the workouts and you will definitely see this number improve.


Flexibility
Best Trail: 15in
Percentile: 15%
What this means for you: Flexibility is very important for overall day to day living. It is important to make stretching a daily habit to loosen up and tight muscles that may cause tension, pain, or posture deviations. Make sure you are stretching at least after each JumpStart training session.

The Great Pumpkin Skinny Chip Muffin

I am addicted to these things. However, I need to find a recipe because paying $2.73 every time I want one is not doing good things to my bank account.

The ingredients are listed as: Flour, egg substitute, fat-free margarine, pumpkin, spices, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and chocolate chips.

Net weight: 8 oz
4.18 fat grams
368 calories

Yes, I know there are still a lot of calories in the muffin. I would still eat the muffin even if I didn't know it was made with reduced fat items. Hmm, I might just have to play around in the kitchen and see what I can come up with on my own.

I need to take a picture of one for you all.

So I have been doing the required reading for my South Africa Trip and I amSO excited to see the opportunities that are presented and that I can make for myself from this experience.

Today my eating was the best it has been in a long time. For breakfast I had a skinny chip pumpkin muffin. My favorite! If I could find a recipe that doesn't include bran I would for sure try to make them. I will need to post the ingredients and see if any of you might know a similar recipe.

Lunch consisted of about 15 peanuts, 1 (Oh my god, only one! o-n-e. 1!) Logan's roll (no butter), baked potato with sour cream, and steamed broccoli. Dinner was 1/2 cup couscous, and 1 serving bean salad (yellow, kidney, garbonzo beans, and tomatoes), 1 andes mint, and 1/2 cup dried cranberries.

I also went to the Y and did about 30 minutes of weights. I am starting to see my muscles again!!!!! Oh yeah, my arms and thighs are looking a lot better. I did 45 minutes on the arc trainer and 50 minutes on the treadmill.

I am pretty tired and so ready for bed.

The simplest answer is to act

End of story by me.

I am really having a hard time finding the motivation to blog. I am doing so much better then I was earlier this week. On my flight back from Seattle I felt a lot of closure to the relationship even though he texted me while I was there wishing me a happy birthday. However, I was thrown for a loop when I arrived to work on Monday morning and sitting in my pile of mail was a birthday card from him. E-mails were exchanged, but no harsh words were said. It just sucked.

Monday night I worked out with my trainer. Tuesday night I had class. Wedensday night I had a kickball game. Thursday night I had dinner and drinks with a friend and then I went home and watched the office. Last night I went out to dinner and drinks with a group of friends. Tonight I am going to see Josh Rouse with some of those same friends.

At some point this weekend I really need to work work on my paper for class...which will be over in 3 more weeks! Eek!

I need to figure out if my last class will get out early so I can go to the Ryan Adams show as well.

I have been thinking a lot about what I am passionate about and what I really want to be doing with my life and where I want to be living. My mom bought me Eat, Love, Pray in the Seattle Airport when we were there in April. At that point I had gone on 2 dates with Zach. I started reading the book and got busy. I didn't pick it up again until 2 months ago or so. I honestly don't think I could have picked a better time to start reading it again. I went to the gym early after work yesterday to try to catch the author on Oprah. The cable was out so I missed it :( I still need to finish the book though...

Eating is still crappy as in not on any sort of schedule. I have probably been drinking way too much diet coke as well. I have not been eating breakfast and I know I should as well as a few other things. I have gone to the gym everyday this week. I can notice muscle tone returning! This is super exciting because last fall/winter I was in pretty good shape and then I feel as if I let myself go. I weighed myself this morning and I was 195 and my jeans were not tight! I would like aim for a weight of 175ish.

Here's to a relaxing weekend!

It's Hard

Today sucked majorly. I cried a lot. The most I have cried since the weekend of the breakup. But I think there was some definite closure, so I guess that's the good thing to come of all of today's events.

My eating and exercising is so out of whack. I just don't have an appetite even thought I know I should eat. However, I did eat a lot when I was in Seattle, but it wasn't like I truly enjoyed it. I was just going through the motions. Nothing looks good to me. The week can only get better at this point...

A Quarter Life Crisis? No Way!

Celebrating the big 2-5 in Seattle. Told with pictures.

I started the day off in Olympia. My favorite place on earth.



My aunt made me an angel food cake with the best frosting ever! It was such a treat. I think the last time I had this cake for a birthday might have been my 7th birthday...



Yes there are 25 candles on the cake!

Here I am wearing the birthday hat.



My aunt and uncle drove me up to Emerald Downs where I met up with Jewel, her brother and his wife, and one of Jewel's friends.

I saw a rainbow!


Jewel and I with the rainbow!


Jewel's nephew Spencer and I.


And then, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Jewel and I met Sir Mix A Lot! Baby got back!


Then we headed up to the U-District and ate at Dick's. I have no pictures of Dicks...sad.

Then we went to the Village Inn where I proceeded to drink lots AND lots of beer, and one shot of Jager for good measure.

I had had one beer at this point.


And lots of beers at this point. Please note the cottage cheese eye- One eye open, one eye closed.


I ended the night by throwing up at the onramp to to I-5 right at 45th Ave. Don't worry, I didn't get any on myself or the car.

A full recap to come later this week!

I'm Back!

I'm back and I had an awesome trip!

I will post more, including pictures later tonight!

I am leaving on a jet plane...

and I will be back late Sunday night :)

I removed my last post about the break up. While it was pretty therapeutic to write it, there are some pretty personal things I didn't want to leave out there forever. We had some good times, we had some bad times, and now it's over.

I am amazed at how I have handled this. While probably not the best, I have thrown myself into work and the gym. I also have done something with other people every night since he broke up with me. Some friend and I went out to dinner last night and then I went to see Bloc Party. I have never heard them before, but I just wanted to do something. I am so glad I went. I had a blast. I did not know one song, but the friends I was with were so awesome and really LOVED the music.

In other news I re-joined my kickball team. I will now be playing on Wednesday nights. I'll missed the first 2 games and I'll miss tonight, but it will be good. It looks like I am going to see Josh Rouse and Ryan Adams. Previously I had talked about controlling my spending. I just need to get out and hang out with people. If that means spending $30 on a concert I am ok with it.

I had a meeting with my professor yesterday instead of class. It is amazingly scary when someone else believes in you and your ideas more than yourself, but at the same time really, really, exciting. I have a lot on my plate right now and I just need to find motivation to keep up with it all.

Thank you all for your support! It has meant so much to me.

Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to stay in bed and sleep all day? Well, today was one of those days. The next few weeks will be interesting.

Starting to get better

At least in the way I am feeling about myself. Getting back in the gym on a regular basis and controlling my portions has helped a lot. Today was my second training session. I got there about 10 minutes early so I could get in some additional cardio. Today we worked the lower body. While the excercises aren't difficult to do on my own, it is just nice to have someone to tell me what to do and count for me.

In other news work is crazy and something is wrong with neck/right upper back. It started last week before I started working out again. It doesn't hurt when I work out. It just hurts if I try to look behind my back on the right side.

That's all I've got for tonight!

Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator...

So every semester I tell myself I am not going to wait until the last minute to complete assignments. And every semester I wait until the last minute to complete the assignments. This semester is no different. However I have realized I need to get my act together on Saturday instead of say late Sunday night this semester. I have a rough draft of a business plan due Tuesday night. I have spent a good portion of the afternoon doing research, but no writing. Ugh. I can't believe I do this to myself every single time.

Like I said before, I think this is one of my favorite posters. So here it is:



On that note, it is one of my goals to tag my picture in flickr a lot better, i.e. accurately.

I have been feeling a bit under the weather. I have got some sort of head cold/sinus thing going on. I went to the gym for 1 hour and 40 minutes yesterday and just did cardio. Today I did 15 minutes of weights and about 30 minutes of cardio. Eating, is ok today. Just some soup. I am off to dinner with Zach!

I need your help!

I need to gather some survey results and I need you, yes You to help me out. Even if you don't comment on my blog, if this is your first time here, or if you read all the time, help a girl out! This is for one of my classes and your help is greatly appreciated!

http://www.zoomerang.com/survey.zgi?p=WEB226W68A3CTH


Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

Update!

I got a call about a half hour ago and I get to participate in the 6 week Jumpstart Weight Management program! Yeah!!!! I have my inital assesment on Monday.

I need to go pick up some forms and fill them out.

Am I really doing this?

So I have been able to stick to a plan 3 days in a row now!!! Yeah! I have excercised on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of this week. I have not binged on snacky crappy foods. I have made wise choices. Last night my little sister and I went to Mellow Mushroom. I had a pineapple and ham calzone. I only ate half and I will eat the other half for lunch today.

As some of you may know I work at a small arena on a college campus. This has positives and negatives. There is a campus gym in the building that is connected to mine making it very easy to work out. For 3 years it was my home gym, but the equipment has not been kept up as well as I would have liked. So I joined the YMCA in January. They do a program at my school/work gym call "Jumpstart Weightloss." I filled out the form and encouraged two other co-workers to fill it out as well. I knew there was a chance I might not get picked. They say they randomly picked people. They let people know yesterday if they were picked. And guess what? I was not picked but my other two co-workers were. GRRRRRRRRR, especially since I was the one who encouraged them to do it. End of rant by me.

I am going to the gym tonight after work. I want to do a little bit of abs and some cardio.

Tomorrow is ATL for DMB.

Oh and John Mayer guested on #41 with Dave Matthews Band last night. Why can't that happen at a show I am going to?

Brownie

Brownie: one of my nicknames and a food item I just ate. It was glorious and I feel no guilt about it what-so-ever. I picked the smallest one on the tray and I savored it. Plus I am going to the gym tonight :)

Sorry to be a downer...

but I just need to get it out and I don't really have anyone else to tell.

I am seriously independent.

I have internal self confidence issues, although if you ask many people who know me they will tell you that I am one of the most confident and assertive people they know.

Despite my confidence, I feel I am not quite good enough and I will question and doubt myself A LOT.

I HATE crying. I did it a lot when I was younger and now I almost view it as a sign of weakness.

I have trust issues, but at the same time I will believe what almost anyone tells me.

I hate feeling needy.

I like to be in control and I hate feeling like things are out of control.

The end by me.

It is Summer

Every summer DMB tours. And every summer I always go to shows. With no outdoor venue in Nashville, I had to travel to see at least one show. (This has never been a problem, because I have always traveled to see them even when they played Nashville.) I just got back from Indiana where I saw them twice at Deer Creek (AKA Verizon Wireless Amphitheater). I had a blast. I ate bad (aka good, but not good when trying to lose the lbs.)food. I drank TOO much and probably gained 5 lbs. I saw old friends and made some new ones.

However, I think next year I am seriously only going to one show. I love the band and my friends, but there is so much more I want to do with my summers (and money!). The drive home went by pretty fast and I am glad to be back.

I have a busy week. Drinks with a friend tomorrow. Class on Tuesday (It's starting already!). Modest Mouse on Wednesday. And MY MOM COMES ON THURSDAY!!!!! Yes! I can't wait. I think the timing is perfect and I am really excited to see her.

That's all for now. Oh, I am not going to take a picture of the scale tomorrow, but just know that I am eating better as of today and made wise food choices.

10 Things I Love!

Thank you Krissie for the tag!

Food: Diet Coke. I know it is technically not a food, but it really does deserve its own category. I also am aware of all of the studies out there saying it actually makes you eat more, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I still love it. In fact there is a picture of me around age 3 or 4 drinking a Diet Coke. So I don't drink it just because it is "diet", I drink it because I actually like it. In fact I just finished one before I started writing this!

Fruit: Pineapple! Yum! However I just like it plain, maybe dipped in a little fruit dip. I don't like it in cakes or other baked goods. I do like it on pizza w/ ham though! I splurge and usually buy the pre-cut kind at the grocery store. Runners up are strawberries and raspberries.

Veggies: Potato. There are so many things you can do with them. My current favorite dish is roasted red potatoes with rosemary and sea salt, extra crispy please! If you ever get to Florence, Italy, visit La Spada near Piazza Santa Maria Novella and try their potatoes. You can thank me later.

Celebrity/People: I am going to have to copy Krissie on this one and say Rachel Ray as well. While I find her TV show to be annoying at times she really has inspired me to do more cooking and add more variety to what I eat. I LOVE her magazine. I subscribe and save every issue. My lovely mother also bought me a Rachel Ray set of pans. Yes!

Event/Situation/Incident: Concerts. You all know I love them so this should be no surprise! On tap this week: Neko Case/Rufus Wainwright at the Ryman and Dave Matthews Band (x2) at Deer Creek!

TV Shows/Movies: Freaks and Geeks! I love this shows SO much and I am really sad it was only on for one season. I watched it religously during that one season, but sadly it was still canceled :( However, it is out on DVD and I can watch my favorites when ever I want.

Music: Dave Matthews Band will always be dear to my heart, but right now John Mayer is in the lead.

Household Chores: Cleaning the kitchen. I HATE a dirty kitchen. A clean kitchen is really satisfying.

Around the World: That there is so much of it I have yet to see. I love traveling especially to new places (as well as beloved favorites). It's exciting to think about where I will go next.

About Myself: My ability to make others laugh. I love telling people about the weird/crazy/funny things that happen to me everyday. Sadly I am not as good as writing them as I am telling them :(

I tag any one who would also like to do this. If you do, leave me a comment so I can make sure I check out your list! Happy Sunday!

Pictures!

Nashville pictures 8.3.04!

Birmingham pictures 8.4.07!
Atlanta pictures 8.5.07!

I have a huge crush on John Mayer if you couldn't tell.

Collide

I should probably provide some of my newer readers with a little background about myself. I love music plain and simple. I went to my first concert in 1996 and I haven’t looked back. Up until a few months ago I was keeping up two blogs: a weight loss blog and an everyday life blog. The reason for keeping the two blogs separate was I did not want everyone to know about my weight loss efforts who read my regular blog. Now, almost 3.5 years later they are start to mesh into one. So, I am using this space as a place to write about my ups and downs with weight loss AND my life. I realized the two go hand in hand and it is just easier to keep up with one blog.

So some of you have noticed I go to a lot of concerts. This is very true. I love music and will travel to see it. My favorites include Dave Matthews Band and John Mayer. Now since we are all friends I will let you in on a little secret. I have seen Dave Matthews Band 73 times and John Mayer 19. My favorite venues in the Unites states are the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, Oregon, the Gorge in George, WA, Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison, CO, and the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN. I wouldn’t really say I have a favorite concert, but I do have quite a few fond memories at concerts including DMB at the Gorge in 02 and at Red Rocks in 05.

I hope to continue to be able to go to concerts. I realize I am very fortunate to have the money to do this, parents who have encouraged me to do what I love and a job that allows me the time to do it.

For those of you wondering, I sort of work in the music business-venue management. I love it. I never set out to work out a venue, but it really is a great job.

I will post more about my Mayer weekend with pictures soon ☺

John Mayer Road Trip

Oh how I love me some John Mayer! Two of my best friends get into town tonight for the John Mayer show tomorrow! Then Jenny and I will head to Birmingham and then off the Atlanta where we will meet up with Alethea again! Oh yes it is going to be glorious! I get off work early this afternoon and then I am off tomorrow and I took a vacation day on Monday. Yeah!!!!!!! Plus Jenny is staying until Wednesday morning. I am not sure how well I will do eating, but I am going to try to make good decisions and I want to go to the Y tomorrow and hopefully Alethea will come with me!

What a Difference a Day Makes

I am feeling 100% better then I did this time last night. I had a decent and productive day at work. After work I met up with some classmates for a beer. It was nice to hang out outside the classroom setting. It was 2 of the guys who are going with me to South Africa in Fall. I know were are going to have a blast. I really up the other 16 people going will be as cool as us ;) After drinks I met up with Zach for pizza. 2 for one pizza at our favorite bar. You really can't beat that. If you scroll down there is a picture of the margharita pizza. Tonight we also go a pineapple, ham, and jalapeno pepper pizza. Yum! No alcohol for me at dinner, so I consider that a success. I did eat a lot of pizza though... When I got home I had a small glass of milk and a pouch of whole wheat fig newtons. I probably didn't need them, but I just wanted a little snack. I walked this morning and I hope to walk tomorrow morning. I will be packing my lunch and then I have dinner at my professors house. Then I really need to finish (er start) my last paper of the summer session.

Thank you all of the comments! I really do appreciate them. Ice cream isn't the answer to my problems, but it sure is good every so often. I am still not sure what I am going to do about the whole boyfriend/eating out thing, but if I find a solution I will let you all know ;)

Yummy Dinner!

So the plan for last night was to meet at Zach's place, go to the gym, and then go to the store to get stuff for dinner. We had decided on a stirfry. However, when he got he was just not feeling well. We talked about our days and then ventured to the store. We started the rice before we left because it took about 45 minutes the last time we cooked it. At the store we bought snow peas, chicken, onion, bean sprouts, red peppers, carrots, borocoli, and, squash. He made a great sauce and we had a great dinner. We are finally getting to the point where every trip to the grocery store for one meal doesn't cost $30-$35. Yeah!!!

Teacher Update

So I got my paper back today by e-mail. I don't get it. I didn't really do that much different and I got an A. The main difference is that I put the last paragraph in first person. I didn't want to do this and I don't think it should be done in business writing, but a friend of mine did that for one of his assignments and she loved it. Thank god I have one paper left and 2 presentations and it is OVER.

Eating is bad. I am going to walk in the morning tomorrow and go to the gym at work.

A gain

I knew it was coming, but 6 lbs? I hope that some of it is at least water weight. I know I ate bad Wed-Saturday. Lunch on all of those days was fine. It was just the ice cream and cookies among other things that were not good. I canoed on Saturday and walked on Sunday. I got up this morning and walked around the neighborhood and walked on the treadmill during lunch.

On an unrelated diet note, I have a teacher I just don't get a long with. It is clear she plays favorites and I am not one of them She does not like my writing style at all and is pretty negative in her comments to me. Writing for her class is so difficult now. My motivation is gone. I have never once had a professor tell me I was a weak writer. Thank God I only have her class 3 more times after tonight. Ugh.

I'm So Lonely...

It's happened. I have turned into that girl who got a little lonely and a tad depressed because her boyfriend was out of town. I thought I would NEVER be like that. So it started when I got home Tuesday night and had the place to myself. If Zach had been in town I would have been over at his place. He called about 10:20 and we talked for more then 20 minutes on the phone about our days. (He calls me every night when he stops for the evening.) I really didn't want the phone call to end. About an hour later I was really missing him a lot so I sent him a text letting him know. He then sent me back the cutest text and of course I was missing him still. I went to bed and just did not feel like getting up in the morning. So I slept in until about 11 AM. I got up and played dress up (my version of trying on all the clothes in my closet to see how they fit or don't fit). Then thank god a friend called and I met her up for lunch and we went to the mall. I think I was just alone for the first time for a good period of time when I normally would have been with him and it was a little hard. I told him about it last night and of course he told me not to do that/or feel that way and I know I shouldn't. It also sounds like he had a pretty lonely day on Hwy 1 in Canada. He saw lots of wildlife in the ROAD. He has also changed his itinerary. He is no longer riding to Prudhoe Bay. Instead he will spend a few days riding around Alaska. He told me he never wants to go on a trip like this by himself. Ah, I miss him so much, but on the upside it looks like he might be home 3 days early!!!

I know this really wasn't a weight loss related post, but I just needed to get it out that I really miss him and it hasn't even been a week. I still have a little over a week before he comes back if he comes back early

Yeah!

I lost 2 lbs this week!!!!!

Yeah!!!!!

School work is calling

Success!

I have no clue what the scale will say tomorrow, but I did have a successful weekend! I drove up Saturday morning to Indianapolis to see my beloved John Mayer. It was well worth the 4+ hour drive for the show and to hang with one of my good friends. I went to the grocery store the night before and bought snacks. Not the healiest items, but at least I was prepared. I took light pringles, mini teddy grahams, apples, and a little trail mix. This is the huge accomplishment for the weekend: I stayed within my points range yesterday AND today AND I excercised each day! Yesterday I got up early and went on a 40 minute walk in the neighborhood. Today I word my gym clothes so I didn't even need to come home when I got back to town. I drove straight to the gym and worked out for a good hour and a half. I ate out yesterday too! I got a greek salad, dressing on the side and french onion soup. I should have said no cheese, but it was so yummy and worth the points!

I weigh in tomorrow so look for another update.

WW E-Tools

I did it. I paid for 3 months of e-tools. I will now be tracking points on line. Today was the first day and I stayed withing my point range!

Eating this weekend wasn't great, but wasn't awful. I ate my favorite salad on Friday night, but I also ate the rolls and accompaning butter. Saturday snacking was bad. I did fine at the wedding except for the 2 pieces of Baklava. Standard buffett. I could have done better, I could have done worse.

Did I mention I stayed within my points range today?????

The Thinking Blogger Award

I know you all have been waiting patiently for some sort of update, so here it is.

The Thinking Blogger Award. I was given this award by KL over at From Yawn to Come Hither. Thank you so much for this recognition. It really means a lot to me! I am never really sure how many readers I have or if what I write really has an impact on anyone else or if it is just a place for me to share my diet frustrations/successes/etc. So thank you! I read her blog daily and she would be one of my recipients. However, since she was already awarded this award I will select 5 other blogs that cause me to think.

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.


1. Alethea @ Losing It Once Again
2. Christie @ Let’s See What Happens!
3. Krissie @ Questions For Dessert
4. Sal @ The Veggie Papparazzi
5. Chronicles of a Late Bloomer

Ladies you are great. Keep up the great blogging!

No one said this was going to be easy

So yesterday afternoon I was tired and almost ready to bag going to the gym. Then From Yawn to Come Hither nominated me for a Thinking Blogger Award! This provided me with enough motivation to get myself to the gym. Her blog is super awesome and is one of my daily reads. I will be nominating 5 others when I get back from Denver, so be on the lookout for that when I get back from my trip.

So I went to the gym for 35 minutes and walked on the treadmill. Nothing fancy, but I made it there.

I have been thinking a lot about how my motivation to lose weight and become healthy has changed in the almost 3.5 years I have been at this weight loss thing. When I started I was pretty strict, yet counting points was so easy. Now I am not counting points and not really losing weight either. I think I need to get back to the mentality I had when I first started. What was this mentality? I counted everything! Now I am not saying where I am out now is a bad place, I just feel I could be doing a little better. In fact I know I can do better.

I feel really lucky to have found some great bloggers over the past few months and I am super excited to get to let them know how much they mean to me, so watch out for a post on Monday!

Have a great weekend!

Not So Bad

So I slept in this morning. Not the end of the world because I knew I could go to the gym after work. I had to buy some concert tickets at 8 AM this morning, so I ate breakfast at home. Oatmeal with skim milk, a little brown sugar and some coconut. I was out of frozen raspberries :(

I had 1 cup of cheerios for a snack. I ate lunch at my desk, which I don't like doing, but I had so much crap to do I just stayed there. I had a moment of weekness and ate the bage of kettle chips in my desk drawer. Thank god it was a single portion or I could have seriously eaten a whole damn large bag. I know I should have heated up the red potato I had, but I didn't. I had my spinach salad w/carrots, and grape tomatoes and balsamic dressing. I also had a gala apple. My afternoon snack was also a gala apple.

I went to the gym and did 45 minutes on the arc trainer and 15 minutes on the treadmill. I went to Pei Wei for dinner with my roomate. The last time I was there I ordered Pad Thai and it was WAY too oily. More oily then I had ever had before. It just wasn't good. Tonight I had brown rice, steamed veggies, wonton soup, and 3 bites of my roomates sesame chicken. I was pretty full, but I didn't feel gross.

Hopefully tomorrow I can get up and go to the gym before work!

Please Excuse Me While I Whine

I really do need some cheese to go with my whine.

I just want things to be easy. It's funny how I felt so awesome getting ready for work this morning and now I feel like poo. I put on one of my favorite white skirts with a sleeveless black knit turtleneck and black sandals. I look awesome, but I don't feel awesome.

I just read part of the article about Ricki Lake's wightloss this morning at the gym. It has taken her almost 20 years to get down to the weight she is currently at. I have only been at this 3.5 years and I am itching to be at a weight I am comfortable with. My body has been hovering around 200 for the past year or so. I have been as much as 10 pounds down and a few pounds over. I am not denying myself anything and I am working out, but not religously. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it.

I am not sure it is helpful, although it is comoforting, that I have found a guy who likes me for me. Oh, and he is taking me to Denver to see the Police in June =)

It is a morning like this morning that reminds me how easy it is to eat about 10 mini, muffins, biscuits, and scones in one sitting. However, today I did not do that I had a huge plate of fruit and 2 mini scones. Like really mini, they probably were less then half the size of a starbucks scone combined. There was an event at work this morning (a really popular writer who writes business books about strenghts and weakness and all that jazz) and I was able to attend. However, I was sort of work before hand and that was the stressful part and the part where I could have potentially binged.

I got to work before 7:30 which is early for me. So I could only go to the gym for an hour. I did 45 minutes on the arc trainer and 20 minutes on the treadmill.

I am supposed to have kickball tonight if it doesn't rain! Then tomorrow it is off to West Virginia for an early Mother's Day Celebration with my mom.

Am I getting old?

No gym for me this morning! I stayed up a little too late last night and didn't get into bed until about 1 AM. Getting up at 4:30 was just not in the cards.

Last night a friend made me dinner. We had black bean, onion, and chicken quesadillas with my favorite spicy blue corn tortilla chips, and Coronas. Speaking of alcohol. I have noticed that my tolerance is pretty much next to nothing. I feel like between 2-3 beers I am now on my way to being tipsy. This isn't normal. I used to be able to throw down and now it's not so anymore. Maybe my tolernance is changing because of the foods I have been eating or because I am getting older? I am not really sure. Either way I just need to watch how much I drink.

Not sure what my plans are for dinner, but I am going to the movies to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Dirty Dancing by watching it on the big screen!

May Day!

Last night I was busy playing around with my new apple laptop to even worry about dinner =) Around 8 PM I decided I better eat something. So, I decided on roasted potatoes and a bean salad. When I lived in Italy, my favorite restaurant served these really yummy roasted potatoes with rosemary. They also fried them. I make my own version which I find equally as yummy. I cut up four red potatoes (I made enough for my roomie) and put them in a zip lock bag with rosemary and sea salt making sure they were coated. I think put them on a foil lined pan and baked at 425 until golden brown. I had forgotten how yummy they were. My roommate liked them too! The bean salad is super simple and I would have added more flavors, but I wasn't sure if my roommate would like them. I just took a can of green beans, yellow beans, garbanzo beans, and kidney beans and mixed them all together with olive oil and balsamic vinegar with a little salt and pepper.

For desert we had what is becoming one of my favorite deserts, and ice cream "cake". It isn't the healthiest, but I have found that if I cut myself a small piece of the cake I eat way less ice cream then if I was dishing myself out a bowl of it. It is made in a 9x13 pan with an an oreo cookie crust. Then a rectangular 1/2 gallon of vanilla ice cream, frozen yogurt (take your pick) is sliced and put in the pan to create the ice cream layer. Next chopped peanuts are put on top of the ice cream layer. Finally, a layer of fudge is poured over the nuts. It is so YUMMMY!

Lunch today was nothing exciting. My stomach has not really been feeling to well this morning. I had a busy morning and didn't have a chance to eat anything until almost 11. I just had some dry cheerios. For lunch just a pretty plain salad and leftover bean salad. On tap for a snack is either pistachios or strawberries or both.

I am having Mexican for dinner tonight!

I just wanted to thank all of those who read my blog. I have found some amazing blogs over the past few months and I really need to update my links of those that I read. Thank you all for your support and the amazing source motivation you are to me.

I Really Think I Can Do This

So I took Saturday off from the gym. Instead I ate at some really great restaurants. I ate breakfast at the Pancake Pantry and had my favorite raspberry pancakes with whipped cream. Usually I will get the pancakes AND hashbrowns. This time I only ate about 3/4 of the pancakes and no hashbrowns. For lunch I had an amazing salad of mixed greens, Gorgonzola cheese, pears, walnuts soaked in some kind of pepper, and raspberry vinaigrette on the side. Dinner was a little bit tricky. It was Italian. I ordered chicken parm. It came with a salad. I got the salad w/ dressing on the side. I only had ONE piece of bread. I think that is some sort of record. Also, I could have had spaghetti or some other pasta with my entree, but I ordered the Broccoli! Amazing I know!

Sunday I went to Starbucks and had tea and ate about 3/4 of my cranberry orange scone. I also made it to the gym for some cardio!

This morning I got up and made it to the gym for cardio and weights. Yeah!!! Also, this morning was the first time in about 2 months that I felt completely comfortable with my body.

Working for the Weekend

Technically it is the weekend. However, I am covering an event and I won't get out of work until about 10:30 PM or later =(

My eating yesterday wasn't the best. I ate a huge bowl of granola after I had eaten my grapefruit and half of my cheerios. Then I had 1/4 of a co-workers quesadilla which was way too greasy. For dinner I went to the Cheesecake Factory with my roomate. I did get the soup/salad/sandwhich combo which was very yummy. However, next time I go I will make a few modifications. I had asked for dressing on the side and they put it on top. Next time I will send it back. They put no mayo on the sandwhich. The soup was a vegetable chicken. It had tortilla strips and cheese on it. Next time I will ask a little bit more about the soups. We split the strawberry shortcake 3 ways. It is by far my favorite dessert there. I love it more then the cheesecake =)

Today, I had a cinnamon roll waiting for me on my desk. I just didn't have the willpower to not eat it. So the grapefruit is still in the fridge. I wanted to grab takout so bad about an hour ago, but then I remember how icky I would feel after I would finish the food. So I just finished up my steamed veggies and baked potato. I have carrot sticks and my leftover grapefruit waiting for me if I need a snack.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Everything in Moderation

Things are going really well right now. I am getting up and going to the gym every morning. I am eating better and my clothes are starting to fit again! While I am still trying to do the no bread thing, I am not as strict about my diet as I was when I was doing this last year. I am trying for moderation here folks. I think I have been pretty successful. I am leaving food on my plate. Savoring desert if I do have it, etc.

I am a little worried about the weekend since I am supposed go out to a few resteraunts that I absolutely love. I just need to remember everything in moderation =)

I Can Do This

I got up early again and made it to the gym! There was no way I was going to make it to the gym early Tuesday monring, so I decided to go in the evening. Now usually when I go to the gym, I am not there to make friends and I don't chat people up. I stick to myself for the most part and I HATE working out with friends. Even though I can recognize people that work out at the same time as me. So anway, in the mornings when I was going pretty regularly there was a guy who also worked out with weights in the morning. We're talking 5 AM here folks. So I am strolling into the gym on Tuesday afternoon and he is at the gym. I see him and he smiles at me. I pick my hand up to wave at him and then I realize I don't really know this guy and this goes against my making friends at the gym. So I just say hi and he asks me where I have been. It was at this point I wanted to crawl into a hole because A. I feel like everyone can tell I have gained weight and loss muscle mass and B. He noticed I was gone. I told him I was going to try to start coming back in the mornings. He said something about me being missed and that he would see me tomorrow. He was there that morning and waived and said hello. He was also there today. However I beat him to the gym. So once I got over the initial embarassment, it felt sort of nice to be missed.

I'll be there tomorrow morning as well. I have kickball tonight too!

I just wanted to share a picture from my trip. That is my couisin's daughter with me.

Today is the Day

Dave Matthews has a shirt with "Today is the Day" printed across it. If I could find one, I would by one. Today really is the day. 2007 was supposed to be the year of me. While I have had quite a few good times, I have let my weight loss and excercise efforts fall to the floor. I am going to get back on track starting today. I know I have said this numerous times over the past few months, but there is just something about today. Today really is the day.

I knew I would not be able to go to the gym this morning, but I have my gear for after work and it is on. I prepared my lunch and breakfast. I past up donoughts in my morning meeting. However, I did not eat the lunch I brought. The resteraunt of choice was Mexican. I started to think there was no way in hell I was going, but I am going to face challenges like this all the time. Last week I would have said fuck it and eaten all the chips I wanted telling myself I would start back up tomorrow. Not today. I ate no chips as two baskets sat in front of me. I ordered a chicken taco salad, no shell, and a side of guac since it didn't come with any. I ended up having one chip though. Next time I will ask for no cheese sauce on the chicken. I didn't know it was going to be on the salad. I am not beating myself up over eating lunch out. I feel I made the best decision given my options and that is all I can do.

To my readers (if I have any left) thank you for sticking it out! You all are awesome and provide such great support!

What to do?

See, I know what I need to do, the problem is actually doing it. I am really struglling here. I am a few pounds over 200 now. I need to get myself back to the gym in a bad way. I need to control my portion sizes. I know I can do this. I've lost 100 lbs, why is the last 25 lbs so hard to lose???

Problems?

Oh yes, my major problem right now would be crew catering. Catered meals for the past two weeks. It will be the death of me. I have slowly been getting back into the gym. I have been unsuccessful with waking up early in the morning. I am trying to go in the evening. ***However, I just heard that is was catfish day Barf. I will be eating salad.***

I bought a poppyseed muffin for breakfast this morning. It was yummy as usual, and I haven't been snacking this morning so I guess that's a good thing.

I am going to the gym tonight.

I am trying, but not as hard as I should be. I need to find some motivation.

I just want to say that I LOVE all the blogs that I read and I really appreciate your comments. You all are an awesome group of women! Thank you for all of your support

I Get Knocked Down and I am TRYING to Get Bacl Up Again...

So I essentially took two months off. I did not go to the gym regularly and I did not eat very well either. I used to take breaks from eating well, but I would continue going to the gym and I was ok. I now know that I can't do that.

I love the gym and it makes me sad that I stopped going, because now my muscles are all out of whack. I feel so worthless doing weights now, because I am nowhere near able to do what I used to do. It was so bad that last well I was almost embarrassed to lift at all.

My clothes aren't fitting right and I am so stubborn that I don't want to buy new ones. At least my skirts from last summer fit (thank god the weather is getting warmer!).

I am slowly getting back on top of things. I am trying to make working out a priority. I am trying to eat better, but sometimes it is just so hard. I started journaling again yesterday. I have gone over points both yesterday and today. I have to start back somehwere though.

The dress that I wore in January, that fit well, BARELY fits now =(

I am sorry this post is such a downer, but in other news I am some really awesome vegetable orzo pasta last night. I sauted some broccoli slaw ( I forze it because there was no way I was going to use it before it went bad), frozen peppers, and mushrooms with a little olive oil. I then added chicken broth and dumped in the orzo and let it cook. I also added some frozen spinach and red pepper flake. Yum! I will definitly be making this one again.

A Love Affair

I am in love with food. Every country I went to in Europe this past week, there was at least 1 food that I had to eat.

In Paris it was crepes with Nutella spread, bread, and wine. In Belgium it was french fries, chocolate, beer and waffles oh my! In the Netherlands it was these tasty pancakes that I can never remember the name of but I have them every time I go.

It is pretty simple. I enjoy good food. So I really needs to stop eating the crap that is not as delictable as the food that I could eat.

Anyway, I caved and bought a jar Nutella at the grocery store and it is now almost gone....I don't think I will make that mistake again. Nutella is best served on a hot crepe eaten while walking down a Paris Street.

So, I need to seriously get my butt back in gear. I was 200 when I left and 199 on Monday. I am going to say it is a fluke and *try* really hard the rest of the week to eat well.

Oh and I know this is really superficial, but I had a thought while I was in Europe that even when I feel and look my worst at my current weight, it is so much better then I ever looked at my heighest.

Next Wednesday night can not get here soon enough. The next 2 months after that will be the months of me. No classes and the only commitment is kickball on Thursday nights. I am going to get my butt back in the gym. My goal is to be back at 187 by the first day of Summr- June 21. Yes, I know setting goals like this isn't always the best, but I think I need one right now.

Hope you all are doing well!

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane....

That's right, it is finally time for me to head back to Europe for a week =)

I am SO excited! Paris, Bruges, Brussels, and Amsterdam! PLUS 3 Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds shows.

I didn't make it to the gym at all this week and I am ok with that. I will be walking plenty in Europe and the gym will be right back here waiting for me when I return.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Still Going Strong

Wow. I can't believe it is Wednesday already. One week down and I haven't faltered. Today is a really nice day and all of my co-workers went out to lunch today at Logan's. I love Logan's, but there are way too many temptations at that place including the rolls and peanuts on the table. One of my co-workers even said to me, "technically we could bring you something back." I think that really just defeats the purpose of what I trying to do.

Anyway, I have been trying to focus on my food since I haven't been to the gym since Sunday. I haven't done the best. I had a run in with ice cream oreo sundaes on Tuesday and last night. They were amazing and I don't regret eating them. I also finished off a bag of caberry dark chocolate eggs. These have always been one of my favorite Easter Candies when they were milk chocolate and now they have dark chocolate! I am in heaven!

On Sunday I prepared most of my lunches for the week. On tap for this week is stuffed peppers. I sauted celery, onion and garlic in a little olive oil. I added some leftover turkey sausage that I had used in the egg muffins as well. I added some classico pasta sauce. I cooked the brown rice in chicken broth. And mix it all together! I cut the green peppers in half, so I made 4 servings and I had about 1/2 of the rice mixture leftover. I also have been eating the vegetable salad with different variations of granny smith apples, carrots, green onions, grapes, cucumber, grape tomatoes, buffalo mozarella, walnuts, and the honey mustard. I could eat that salad all the time.

I have also been eating pistachios, apples, and grapes for snacks.

I am hoping to make it to the gym tomorrow and Friday. Then I leave for Europe on Saturday!

Weekend Update

I am a little stressed right now. My other blog disappeared. I have no clue where it went or how to get it back. I e-mailed blogger about it, so hopefully they will be able to help because I think this has happened to others before.

Lexington, KY was wonderful. Usually on mini trips, I eat whatever I want because it is my time away. However, I am quite pleased with my eating. Friday evening I got in around 7:30 PM and checked into the hotel. My mom left a little later, so she got in around 9ish. I sung by chipotle and picked up dinner for us. She got a burrito, I got the burrito bowl. There was so much food I could only finish half of it. The next morning we had breakfast at the hotel. I had oatmeal w/skim milk, brown sugar, raisins, and assorted fruit. The brown sugar and raisins were a splurge as I usually use Splenda. Also, they had lots of goodies like pastries, biscuits, oven potatoes, bacon and sausage, but I didn't even get any. I had one of my mom's potatoes and it wasn't even that good.

We had a lunch at Panera, again good. We splurged and had ice cream. Dark chocolate ice cream with raspberry mix in. SO.GOOD. I consider this a success because I got the small when sometimes I get the medium or large when I really should get the small. Also, my mix in was fruit! No brownies or cookie dough, so yeah me!

We swung by chipotle for dinner again. I LOVE this place for some reason, and of course there are none in TN. This time we got a burrito bowl to share. At the concert I did have once glass of wine, but it was super tiny. Also throughout the day I nibbled on a few Frango mints.

Today my dad and brother met us for dinner. We went to this yummy bakery where I again had oatmeal. This time no milk, but brown sugar and pecans. What a treat! I also had part of a scone I didn't finish and half of a maple bar with butter cream filling. Yes, I know, I know breakfast wasn't the healthiest, but it was so good, a nice little treat, and I don't feel I over ate. I really didn't eat a lunch as I was driving home. When I stopped to get gas I was going to get a frosty, but the line was way to long. Back in the car and to the gym for me. I wore my workout clothes home so all I had to do was stop in on my way home. I did 45 min on the arc trainer.

Swung by the grocery store and picked up produce for the week. Once I settled in at home I started to make stuffed green peppers for this weeks lunches. I also heated up two of the egg "muffins", oven fries, and some frozen vegetables for a nice dinner.

I had a great weekend and it is sad that it is over. I am very proud of my eating this weekend considering how many chances there were for overeating. I feel that while my food choices may not have been the healthiest, I definitely kept my portion sizes in check.

Success!

Day 2 down and I ate the lunch I made for myself. I made enough couscous to have some for lunch today too. I also made the salad again. I had a gala apple and NF plain yogurt with peaches.

My co-workers don't think I can do this. That only makes me want to do it more. Also, some people might say that I am not really following through with this because I will be eating lunch out while I am in Europe. They told me I was already making excuses. Now here is where it takes a somewhat religous turn. Eating lunch out at work is a HUGE temptation and my co-workers are part of the problem. Eating out when I am not at work is not as big as a problem. I feel I am supposed to give up something that causes me to think about the sacrifice I am making and the sacrifice Jesus made for us. And I feel that is just what I am doing. A friend asked me what I would do if I had a business lunch. I told him I wouldn't go. I can always turn a business lunch into a meeting so that won't be a problem at all.

On that note, I will be going out to lunch tonight. Someone asked me about dinners out. Dinners out are not where I stumble most of the time, because I usually plan when I will eat out. Plus, due to my class schedule and dodgeball I usually have to pack a dinner as well as a lunch.

I leave tomorrow for Lexington to spend the weekend with my mom. We are meeting up there and going to see a John Mayer show (front row!) and do a little shopping. Then on Sunday my dad is meeting us there with my brother for a nice family breakfast =)

I'll be back on Monday, hopefully with a few pictures =)

I think I can, I think I can

So I am focusing on one aspect of my weightloss at a time right now. Right now, I am just trying to get my eating in check. I will be super busy over the next 4 weeks, but if I can eat well, I know I will be ok.

Also, I actually thought long and hard about what I would give up for Lent this year. This year I decided to give up work lunches. This would be classified as any lunch I do not make myself during Monday-Friday when I am at work. I rarely buy lunch on the weekends, but it is a constant struggle during the work week and my co-workers are not the best influences. They don't think I can do it. I think I can.

Today I had whole wheat cuscus with toasted pine nuts, celery, green onion, and mushroom cooked in chicken broth. I also had a cucumber, tomato, granny smith apple, and walnut salad with some Emirl Honey Mustard. My co-workers went out to a friend chicken place.

One day down.

I am not giving up

Man it seems like I have been fighting a losing battle since September to lose any weight. I so focused on getting back to 187. Why 187? It was my lowest recorded weight. Right now I am under 200, somewhere I never thought I would be. It is a little frustrating, but I am still pushing forward. No gym for me this morning, but I will be going tomorrow and Sunday.

At lunch I was successful and ordered what I had planned on and it was great. However, on my way home I wanted to go to the Cheesecake Factory or anywhere besides home for dinner SO bad. I think it was because I was tired and I just didn't want to make anything. I ended up with a spinach salad with blue cheese, crasains, avocado, tomato, grapes, and walnuts. Yes I know that not everything on that salad is considered "healthy", but in small portions I can deal.

Oh and my roommate asked where all the brownies went. I told her I ate them all. That was hard to admit to. I could have totally lied and said I took them to work. She just laughed and reminded me of the time she ate a whole carrot cake not too long ago. Please note the brownies were made in a 8 inch pan, but had the pan been bigger I probably would have eaten those too.

I really need to figure some things out...

Let's Try This Again

2 day of all out eating nothing but junk. Yep, that would be my Tuesday and Wednesday. I ate cookies, brownies, chips, candy, burger and fries. Oh and ice cream. I think that pretty much covers the major foods I consumed. Oh and I had some of my favorite easter candy ever. They are these Russel Stovers Coconut nests. mmmmm.

Ok, well enough of that. I went to the gym Monday and Today. Didn't make it Tuesday and Wednesday. Have no fear. I didn't consume all junk. I did eat some fruit, oatmeal, and skim milk.

I am back at it again today (in a good way). I made it to the gym and I already know what I will be having for lunch today with my friends. Oh yes and dodgeball tonight!

Yum!

It is my opinion that there is no better breakfast then one that involves chocolate. Remember that brownie type dessert I made? Well I had a piece, er two, for breakfast this morning with a nice big glass of skim milk.

Oh and I came to the realization today that, while I technically may not be losing weight on the scale I have been doing a few things to make myself feel better. One of which is actualy putting effort into what I wear each day to work. I am actually putting outfits together and wearing jewelry. I still need to work on the makeup thing though

A Well Planned Week (sort of)

As I started to plan for my week last Sunday, I knew that I wouldn't be able to make it to the gym every day. I did go to the gym on Sunday right after I got back from ATL. I stayed up studying from my finance mid term Sunday night, so no Super Bowl for me. I didn't go to the gym Monday morning. Monday, I went to Huntsville to see John Mayer, so I ate out for dinner. I ended up with a turkey sub (plain) with baked BBQ lays. The place we stopped wasn't my first choice, but we were short on time. No gym Tuesday morning because I didn't get to bed until about 1 AM. Tuesday I went out for lunch. Now I could have chose the salad w/ dressing on the side, but I went for the HUGE quesadilla. I should have just eaten half, but I ate the whole damn thing. I made it back to the gym Wed-Friday. I did go to Logan's on Thursday for dinner and I had 2.5 rolls and peanuts. I am ok with it. They were yum!

This weekend I went to the gym on Saturday and Sunday. I went out Friday night with some friends and had a salad and 2 beers. I probably could have done without the beer though. Saturday I went out to a late lunch to this great french restaurant and had an omelet with spinach, mushroom, and cheese, split a salad, and this glorious bread basket with 5 different spreads including honey, butter, peanut butter, raspberry jam, and nutella. I am drooling just thinking about it. I ended up hanging out with my friend all afternoon and she had people over to her house for kebabs. I ended up making them all while she cleaned up =) They were yummy! Later we went to a concert where I had another beer. Like the night before I shouldn't have had it.

Sunday, I got up and was at the gym by about 9 AM. After, I went to the grocery store for my weekly shopping trip. Once I got home I made some yummy egg "muffins" with lots of veggies and turkey sausage. I ate 2 for lunch and then put the rest in plastic baggies and in the freezer for later consumption. I also made a brownie sort of dish from a recipe I found in my Rachel Ray magazine. So not diet friendly, but so good with some vanilla ice cream. For dinner I splurged and had Pei Wei. But I did not eat it all! I ate half the salad, the other half is for my lunch today. I only had a little bit of my pad thai so I have plenty of leftovers.

Even though my options over the weekend weren't the healthiest, I am still very pleased with my portion control and that I made it to the gym.

I Want to Eat It All

Exercising away from home while on a trip just doesn't work for me. No matter what I do to tell myself I am going to exercise, rarely do I do it. I think I just need to accept this and stop packing like I am going to exercise every day I am away.

So breakfast this morning consisted of a sliced fruit, a diet coke, and a raisin scone. I should have forgotten the raisin scone, but I got it any way. Oh and while buy my breakfast I wanted to buy and eat about 4 doughnuts, a croissant, and a yogurt parfait. The only thing holding me back from the yogurt was the blueberries on top of it. I HATE blueberries, oh and the fact that I already had enough food to keep me satisfied.

Yeah, so I can tell this whole getting back to eating well thing is going to be tough I have a finance mid term on Tuesday that I have not study for. Hopefully I will get a little studying done on the drive back to Nashville. Oh, so that leaves Monday. Nope. I am driving to Huntsville to see my beloved John Mayer. So not only will I be stressed from not studying, I will be eating dinner out tomorrow. Oh, why do I do this to myself??

I have also decided that I am not going to rejoin WW at work. While I like the ladies in my meeting, I think my goals are just way different from theirs. I want to become the healthiest me I can be, they just want to lose weight and hate exercise. BTW, I love working out (aside from when I am traveling.) Also, I am one of the younger ones in the meeting. Now that the leader knows I have lost a bunch of weight, she is always asking me questions. It makes me a little uncomfortable. Plus, I feel the pressure to "perform" as in lose weight all the time. And to be quite honest I haven't been doing it since I joined the group. My weight has been fluctuation ridiculously since I joined. I think this will just be better for me.

So yesterday I met up with an old friend I hadn't see in about 2 years. It was so great to see her and she just has this awesome personality. We were talking about weight loss and clothes. She is probably about a size 10/12 and we were talking about weight loss and clothes. She told me that she used to say "I am going to lose X amount of pounds and then I will buy new clothes." And now she doesn't do this any more. She is focusing on buying classic pieces that will last and if she does happen to lose the weight she will get them altered. She was tired of putting that pressure on herself. I think I am going to start doing this with my own wardrobe.