Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Am I ever going to be ok?

Sometimes I feel like I have my life together and other times I feel like I have no clue what I am doing. I just had a good cry while I was on the phone with my dad dealing with some jealousy issues and uncertainty about my future. Yeah, it's rough and maybe I am just being overly dramatic. And then I proceeded to eat an almost full snack size bag of snickers. Why do I do this? Why do I soothe myself with food? Will it ever stop? Will I ever be in control?

I can't get over the fact that I want to plan my entire life. Or at least outline it. Outlines change, they are not permanent, but at least they provide some guidance.

I want to be successful, I want to be giving, I want stability, and I want to enjoy my life. Yet I feel like I can't control anything.

Some possible options for the future:
Quit my job and move
Volunteer/work in South Africa
Launch my website
Move somewhere besides Nashville
Work for a non-profit (if I could get a job at one I would want, I am not sure I am even qualified)

I know I am having some post trip depression blues right now, but to be quite honest I have been feeling like this for a little while now.

Monday, November 05, 2007


I am so tired right now. I went to bed last night around 9:30ish. I had a wonderful dinner with Nikki and Chris who were in town for the (canceled) Smashing Pumpkins show. After a previous full day of travel I was tired by the end of the night. I wish I could have stayed up later and gone to a bar with them.

I didn't go in to work at all today. I told my boss I might swing by, but in the end I had no desire to go and just decided to take the day for myself. I did more laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, went to the gym, went grocery shopping, and caught up with a few friends. However, I did not sleep well last night and had two of the most awful charlie horses. I am meeting friends for dinner in about in hour and I will probably go to bed shortly after I get home.

I am working on organizing my trip photos. I have only uploaded one which was taken a the top of Table Mountain. Sorry for the squinty eyes.


Sunday, November 04, 2007

I'm Back From the Rainbow Nation!

I had the most amazing time in South Africa. I need to get back.

It took 31 hours door to door from Cape Town to Nashville on the return home. I can now say that I have been drunk, sobered up, and hung over all on one flight. Oh and I chatted up the guy who checked me in and scored the exit row baby for the Cape Town to Dulles flight. I had so much leg room that when my legs were extended they didn't even touch the seat in front of me. My ankles however are SO swollen.

I got in around 10 AM and put in a load of laundry and then went to the gym for over an hour and a half. I ate so much food and drank so much wine and beer that my body has been in total shock this past week.

I am in the process of uploading and organizing my pictures and of course I will let you all know when they are uploaded.

I am also in the process of catching up on all my blog reading. I have missed you all!

After this trip I have realized I really do love traveling and have done quite a bit. Just looking through my passport there are only about 3 pages with no stamps on them.

So my question to all of you, (lurkers included!) tell me what your favorite vaction/travel destination is or where you would love to go. I am looking for suggestions for my 2008 trip(s) :)