Sometimes I feel like I have my life together and other times I feel like I have no clue what I am doing. I just had a good cry while I was on the phone with my dad dealing with some jealousy issues and uncertainty about my future. Yeah, it's rough and maybe I am just being overly dramatic. And then I proceeded to eat an almost full snack size bag of snickers. Why do I do this? Why do I soothe myself with food? Will it ever stop? Will I ever be in control?
I can't get over the fact that I want to plan my entire life. Or at least outline it. Outlines change, they are not permanent, but at least they provide some guidance.
I want to be successful, I want to be giving, I want stability, and I want to enjoy my life. Yet I feel like I can't control anything.
Some possible options for the future:
Quit my job and move
Volunteer/work in South Africa
Launch my website
Move somewhere besides Nashville
Work for a non-profit (if I could get a job at one I would want, I am not sure I am even qualified)
I know I am having some post trip depression blues right now, but to be quite honest I have been feeling like this for a little while now.
5 comments:
Yes, sweetie, you will be okay.
I don't know what it is about me, but I get antsy in 2 year cycles. And it is always career related. I rarely keep a job more than 2 years. I find a new job, or I go back to school. I've got to quit that, for the sake of retirement.
Aww Sarah- I'm sorry you are so stressed. I understand being frustrated about life in general. Change is so stressful that it makes sense you'd want to soothe your self in the way that has worked best for you in the past- food.
Don't beat yourself up. You've already faced the hardest part- realizing that you need to do something other than what you are doing now. It's easy to stay in one place when you know what you are going to get. It's taking that risk, that step out of the 'safety zone' that's terrifying.
You are smart and capable (and gorgeous!)
Whatever you choose will give you new opportunities and growth to where you want to be.
not much is permanent. If you don't like the choice, you can change again.
Surrender to the flow...
Find some inspiration
It's down deep inside you
Amend your situation
Your whole life is ahead of you
Your whole life is ahead of you
Sarah, have you read _What Should I Do With My Life?_ by Po Bronson? I just finished rereading it for the third or fourth time since I bought it several years ago. Po went around the country interviewing people who had found the right purpose for their lives (and some who hadn't). It's a great read for times like the one you're going through.
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