Doing Something for Myself

The last few days have been a bit frustrating as far as the scale goes. My eating has not been wonderful, but it hasn't really been out of control either. I didn't go to the gym because my schedule was CRAZY. I had the Band of Horses Show Last night and it was almost 1 AM before I was home. The show as amazing and I had such a blast and I feel like I won the lottery by getting a ticket.

Today I had my grant writing class. I thought it was going to be $200, but it was only $100! When my dad heard I was taking it, he offered to pay for it. Because of his generosity I can now take the Advance Grant Writing Class too!

After, I rushed home to change my clothes and then get a mani/pedi. Longest mani/pedi ever! Almost 2 hours later I walked out of there. But I am ok with it. I have been trying to find a nail salon here in Nashville, that I like (ie their cleaning standards meet mine) and I think I found it. Also since I went to NYC I have been getting a mani about every 2 weeks. This is my treat to myself. I deserve it. I am not using it as a reward for losing X amount of lbs. I have learned I don't respond well to that sort of motivation. Because, well, I usually get everything I need/want within reason of course. So my 1.5 month manicures have been wonderful. I have been getting black nail polish every single time as well, just because I like it. Also, I have been wearing my big-mama ring every single day since the start of the new year. It is a 9 carat sapphire I got as a graduation present from one of my aunts from undergrad 3 years ago. (When I got the ring it was tight, now it is almost too big!) The thing is huge and I have now made it MY signature piece. It's kind of funny because after I started wearing it all the time a co-worker bought a big ring and subsequently has been painting her nails black. I am sort of flattered. Doing these 2 small things make me feel great about myself. Nail polish and a ring make me feel beautiful.

I leave for my cruise tomorrow. If I don't come back, I've run off with John Mayer ;) Have a great weekend everyone!

Band of Horses

Band of Horses are playing in Nashville tonight at a super tiny venue. I forgot to get my ticket in advance and it sold out. A friend just e-mailed me saying he has an extra ticket. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You!

Thank you all for the encouraging comments over the weekend. The weight loss blogging community is awesome. Today was rough, but thank goodness I was so busy I had to remember to eat. I really didn't have time to snack and I got my exercise in before class! I was just a wee bit frustrated that I had a gain today.

Here is to a great Tuesday!

Easter Challenge Week 4

I gained a pound. I am back up to 193.
I exercised 6 of the 7 days for 796 minutes.

I think I was preparing myself for this yesterday. Although I would have preferred to maintain. I am sure if I would have maintained I would have been equally as frustrated. A thousand different things have been running through my mind this morning. Maybe I ate too much salt the past few days? I am PMSing. I drank too much diet coke this week. Maybe I gained muscle? (one can hope!) Looking back over what I ate last week the main differences were drinks on Tuesday night and snack attack/binge on Friday. I think my eating on Friday had a lot to do with this.

I really wanted to be at 190 or even in the 180's before I left for my cruise. But how realistic is that? It's just a number. The amount of fun I have on the cruise is not going to be determined by a couple of pounds.

I have lost 12 lbs in 4 weeks! That's amazing. I should feel proud and accomplished. I do. My healthy habits are back.

I have a busy day ahead of me and I am not going to let this gain mess up my plans. I am not going to say "screw it" like I might have done last year and use the gain as an excuse to eat badly.

Happy Monday!

Procrastination...

I am doing an industry analysis on the cosmetics industry. I don't really want to be doing it either. Hence the reason I am blogging. So earlier today, instead of working on the analysis, I went to the bookstore and got dinner. At the bookstore I bought two Food Network cookbooks, a magazine, AND a Lonely Planet guide to Buenos Aires!!!! That's right folks, my friends and are planning a trip to Argentina in the fall!!!! I am SO excited. (Jen expect in e-mail from me in the coming weeks!) We all wanted to go somewhere none of us had been before. Europe was pretty much out and we decided we would need much longer then a week or so to go to Asia. So Argentina it is! Also as I was walking to the cash register in the bookstore I spotted someone I recognized, but couldn't place immediately. A few more steps and I realized it was Ben Folds. The last time I was at that book store I saw Martina McBride. Could I please see someone like John Mayer there? That would really make my day, but I guess that would be much more likely if he lived here ;) Heck I would settle for Keith Urban or Nicole Kidman.

Dinner at Panera by myself was uneventful. I got the greek salad and had very little dressing. I just love the flavor combination of purple onion, feta, olives, and peppers. I also ate the whole grain baguette. I LOVE this baguette. While I could have gotten the apple, I rarely eat bread so this was a treat.

Back to the paper...

Putting it all in Perspective

I really needed to do this. Especially after my last post.

Failure and Bumps in the Road

Sometimes I wonder if I am going to fail at this whole weight loss thing. I mean I have been going at it for 4+ years and I am still not where I want to be. I wonder if I get to where I think I should be, if I will be terribly disappointed. Disappointed that my thighs are still huge. Disappointed that stomach is still flabby. And disappointed that I still won't be happy with my body. This scares the shit out of me. All the what ifs. I am at a point in my life where only a handful of people know the "before" me. I am not really sure what the proper word to describe how I feel about the people who only know me currently. They don't get why I go to the gym for hours or why I bring my lunch to work or why I don't have a glass of wine when everyone else is drinking. I can't, nor do I want, to wear a sign around my neck or on my back that says "Hey, I used to be fat!" But sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't need the sign. I can see the skin in my arms and lower body that is telling enough to do the same thing. And sometimes I feel pretty positive everyone else can see it too.

I have been doing really well for the past 4 weeks. Amazingly well. I have not been doing this fantastic, well I can't even remember the last time I was doing this fantastic. Yesterday was a little tricky. I was really snacky in the evening and I just needed to eat dinner. Even after I ate dinner, I was still looking for snacks. I was able to refrain and went to a friend's house to play cranium and watch "Shoot 'Em Up." I fell asleep during the movie and I think that is a good indication of how crappy it was more then an indication of how tired I was. I passed on wine and popcorn. I came home and went straight to bed. No computer. No snacking.

Today I had visions of getting up by 7:30. I hit the snooze and wasn't up until about 8:20. I was at the gym before 9 and spent three glorious hours working out. It was my time. I read and listened to some great music. Now I am putting off writing a paper. I read the requirements and it only needs to be 4-6 pages. That literally is nothing. I'll get it done. I haven't missed a deadline yet in grad school.

This week will be tricky as far as food an exercise go. Tomorrow I have to go interview a business owner during lunch so I won't be able to workout. I will need to workout (walk on the treadmill) after work and before class. Class until 9. Tuesday I will work out either during lunch or before class. Class until 9. Wednesday I have a grant writing class to go. Then I will pick up any last minute things I need for the cruise and get a mani/pedi. Later in the night will be the first meeting of my entrepreneurial club. If 5 people come I will be ecstatic. Possibly work out after meeting. Thursday I will work out during lunch. Pick up my CSA at 5 and then drop it off at home and head straight to the airport for Florida!!!!!!

I will meet up with my best friend and another friend and we will stay in Miami one night and then get on the cruise ship Friday. Eating and exercise is going to be tricky. I have been doing so well and I don't want to mess things up. I am thankful I have been on a cruise and know what to expect (the food is not that great). I am not sure how exercise will fit in the picture, but I have entered a contest thing to attend a training session with John Mayer's trainer. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to win that. I will be going kayaking and snorkeling on Saturday.

I have been doing so well, and I know as hard as I try to plan there will always be little bumps in the road. Sure I have my whole week planned out, but I KNOW things will come up. It's just a matter of how I handle the bumps in the road. It is my hope that I will be able to balance having fun and staying on plan during this upcoming weekend.