Friday, May 08, 2009

So Yeah

I am still trying to get my eating under control. Today has been a lot better. But I snacked a lot last night. And this morning? Well the 4:30 AM thunder and lightning storm was amazing. But unfortunately my class was not. I felt like I was going to throw up during the entire class. Plus it was a lot of stuff we did putting pressure on our hands. I don't do well with bear crawls or mountain climbers on a regular day. And today was worse than regular.

In other news, I think I might check out the local weight watchers meeting. I need some sort of accountability and something to help me get back on track.

Oh and this is a post for another day, but somewhere along the line over the past 3 years something happened and I have become a lot harder on myself and I have been thinking about food a lot more. Too much in fact. Just something I have been thinking about this week...

A big THANK YOU goes out to all of those who have commented in the past few days. It really means a lot to me. I have been thinking about doing a giveaway, just for fun. Hopefully, I will have some more details in the coming weeks :)

Wednesday, May 06, 2009


Could I please just stop ravenously eating/bingeing the week before my period? I mean it is really out of control, but only for a few days. And poof! it goes away just like that. I wish it would never come. Because seriously, it also brings with it some pretty crazy thoughts and emotions (when I am normally pretty emotionless as far as crying goes...)
Some of the random thoughts I have had since 5 AM
-I don't want to go to my gym class.
-Can I call in sick today?
-Maybe tomorrow would be a better day to call in?
-Those damn sorority girls drank too much last night and of course they aren't in class this morning.
-I don't want to be in this gym class.
-What exactly am I doing with my job/career?
-Maybe I will go on a beach vacation only by myself over Labor Day Weekend?
-I am so excited about an upcoming trip!
-Maybe I want to be in a relationship way too bad and that's why it isn't happening?
-Why do I binge?
-Am I really sure I want to go to work today?
-Maybe I am depressed?
-I went to bed at 9 last night. I should be in a better mood.

Foods I have eaten in the past hour:
2 spoonfuls of crunchy peanut butter
3 low sugar granola bars
2 coconut chocolate nests

Umm, so I have pretty much eaten my entire calories for the day in the course of about 1 hour. Go me. Or not.

Oh and my Monday afternoon was completely wacked. Even for me. I left work early to go to the dentist for what was supposed to be my last appointment before I got my crown and veneer. Well it's not. They didn't have a specific piece of equipment because my oral surgeon didn't send it over. So they had to send a currier to get it. What did I do while I waited? I was hooked up to the gas and watched Law and Order SVU. They finally got the part and had to unscrew something in my mouth and take molds. Because you see I have an actually metal screw type thing in my mouth. So in about 3 weeks I go back. And then in another 3 weeks I should have a complete grill or at least I hope.

Death Cab was Monday night. It was awesome, but I think I hyped the show so much in my mind that I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. Plus the average age of the 2200 people at the show had to have been about 19.5 years old. I felt old.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Strange Times are Here

This past week was busy and this weekend was slow. Slow is good and needed, but it also leaves lots of time for the mind to wander. Here are some random thoughts from the weekend in no particular order:

-I need to eventually run a half marathon, just to prove to myself that I can do it.
-I think too much about being in a relationship. I need to quit having negative thoughts about how I am NEVER going into be in a relationship. It's not healthy.
-I couldn't live without music.
-I have been out of grad school for a year!?!?
-I miss e-mail conversations from the winter.
-My (almost) knee high boots zipped comfortably when I tried them on today and I didn't have to struggle to zip them up. Boots with skirts this summer? Why yes!
-I have been tracking my daily food intake using the Perfect Diet Tracker ap. I haven't paid for the full version yet. I am just getting a feel for how it works. I am curious to see if I have lost any weight this week.
-I went to the gym every day this week, except for Thursday.
-I didn't go to the gym on Thursday because I had tickets to the symphony!
-Sometimes I think plastic surgery will be the only way to get the body I want. But then I watch TV shows about plastic surgery and it scares the crap out of me to think about going under the knife.
-I LOVE Diet Coke.

I hope you all had a great weekend and are rested for the week!