I am struggling here folks. So I am going to take a break from blogging for a few days, maybe a week. I need to try to figure some things out, get my portion control/bingeing in check, and get back into a gym.
I'll continue to read you all though :)
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Closure
Tonight I did something by myself that I never thought I would be able to do (only one other person knows what it is and that's the way I intend to keep it.) This single act of solitude brought immense closure. Closure the way closure is meant to be. No one can force it upon you or say the "right" things, it just has to come from within. And tonight it happened.
The next two months are going to be awesome. You all better get ready! I know I am!
The next two months are going to be awesome. You all better get ready! I know I am!
You Probably Don't Care
But I went to the gym for 65 minutes during lunch even though I really didn't want to.
I also ate my lunch of barley and bean soup, tangelo, and 100 calorie chips ahoy candy bites even though I really wanted to eat out somewhere.
End of story by me.
I can't wait to get home tonight because this bad boy is waiting for me:
I also ate my lunch of barley and bean soup, tangelo, and 100 calorie chips ahoy candy bites even though I really wanted to eat out somewhere.
End of story by me.
I can't wait to get home tonight because this bad boy is waiting for me:
Ugh
Last night and this morning were rough. Eating has not been good. I think I am getting ready to start. I seriously just want to lose 10 more lbs. And as hard as I think this will be, I really think I need to cut off all communication with the ex. Yesterday I started thinking of the way things were when they were good, but then I remembered how they were towards the end. I think it is just too hard on me and I don't like the way I feel after we e-mail. It's rainy and all I want to do is crawl back into bed.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Plans: Sometimes they all fall apart
So my plans for tonight aren't going to happen. We touched based earlier this evening. I called left a voice mail and he hasn't returned my call. It is now storming outside and I am just not feeling it even if he does call me back. Plus I am starting to get mildly stressed out. I have a portion (only 2-3 pages) of a group paper to write. But I have no motivation. I am sure my group members are cursing me, but for the most part, they can all do their part without my part. Have I told you all how much I hate group papers? Well I do. They never are written as well as individual papers and trying to edit one suuuuuuuuuuucks. I am sure you all are tired of hearing about my procrastination, but come April 30, it will all be over!
So today instead of going to the gym as planned during lunch, I went to lunch at Panera. I am pretty proud of myself for my lunch choice. I got the black bean soup and the sourdough baguette. Usually I get the You Pick Two, but I wasn't extremely hungry. I also had a small sample of some cinnamon bread.
Since I went out to lunch instead of the the gym I had to really motivate myself to go to the gym after work. The weather this afternoon was looking a little stormy, so a walk outside wasn't a good idea. I was planning on walking on the treadmill, but they were all full. So I hopped on the elliptical for 65 minutes breaking out into a nice sweat.
I cam home ate some oatmeal and tangelos because I really had no motivation to prepare anything that required effort. I actually think I am going to go to bed soon. I would love to get up early and write part of my paper in the morning or afternoon.
Besides all that I am just in sort of a blah mood. I am not really sure what it is up, but the sooner I snap out of it, the better.
So today instead of going to the gym as planned during lunch, I went to lunch at Panera. I am pretty proud of myself for my lunch choice. I got the black bean soup and the sourdough baguette. Usually I get the You Pick Two, but I wasn't extremely hungry. I also had a small sample of some cinnamon bread.
Since I went out to lunch instead of the the gym I had to really motivate myself to go to the gym after work. The weather this afternoon was looking a little stormy, so a walk outside wasn't a good idea. I was planning on walking on the treadmill, but they were all full. So I hopped on the elliptical for 65 minutes breaking out into a nice sweat.
I cam home ate some oatmeal and tangelos because I really had no motivation to prepare anything that required effort. I actually think I am going to go to bed soon. I would love to get up early and write part of my paper in the morning or afternoon.
Besides all that I am just in sort of a blah mood. I am not really sure what it is up, but the sooner I snap out of it, the better.
Weekly Weigh In
I was so ready to not even weigh in today. I had pretty much convinced myself that I was going to have a gain. But, I maintained!!!! I don't think I have ever been so happy to maintain considering the amount of cookies/chocolate/alcohol I consumed over the past week. I think this will be the motivation I need to really focus on my food and exercise this week.
This week I have no classes tonight and tomorrow! I do however have a friend who works on the road and he will be in Nashville tonight, so I am sure I will go out to dinner/drinks tonight. I am planning on going to the gym at lunch and I hope the rain stays away so I can go for a walk after work.
Happy Monday!
This week I have no classes tonight and tomorrow! I do however have a friend who works on the road and he will be in Nashville tonight, so I am sure I will go out to dinner/drinks tonight. I am planning on going to the gym at lunch and I hope the rain stays away so I can go for a walk after work.
Happy Monday!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
A Beautiful Weekend
The weather has been amazing the past two days. Tomorrow it is supposed to get to 72. I have taken full advantage of both days. Yesterday I went to the gym for just under 3 hours, but I decided I really wanted to go walk around the lake. So I walked around the lake for the first time since last October. Last October I was in such a bad place. I was still hurt from the breakup and I remember going there to walk and just crying. It's amazing what 4 months can do. After the walk I came home and showered to get ready for kickball practice.
See, a few weeks ago I was asked to be on a kickball team. My team from previous seasons decided to take the spring season off. So, in an attempt to meet some new people I decided to go for it. However, in normal Sarah fashion I had some real apprehensions all morning about the practice and being "the new girl" since this team (Catch it With Yo Face) played last year. So I show up at the park for practice and the guy who invited me to play was out of town. So I know no one! Oh how I love situations like this! (Umm not really) So I make a few introductions and we start to play. We break off into 3 teams, (4-4-3) and we're off. I was able to get on base most times and able to catch a few balls, as well as make a few errors. However, my crowning moments came when I played first base. First I was knocked over by a runner at first base. He felt really bad, but I was ok. Then later in the game a guy kicked a low pop fly right at me. I thought it was about my stomach level, but no. It hit me right in the crotch and bounced. I didn't skip a beat and I picked up the ball and got him out at first. However, everyone else was dying of laughter. Things from "That's gonna leave a mark" to "Catch it with your crotch" were yelled across the field. I am sure my face was bright red, but I was able to laugh about. I then proceed to get the next 2 outs of the inning, so I got all 3 outs! Boo Yeah! (maybe they felt bad for me???) We voted on a new team name, and my mind is failing me right now as to what we voted on.
Today I hung out with my little sister. We went to CPK for lunch. I ate half my BBQ chicken pizza. I was supposed to have dodgeball practice, but that got canceled so we went to the park instead. We swung on the swings, took a nice walk, and even had a "photo shoot." After I dropped her off I headed to the lake. It was seriously to nice to go to the gym, so I walked around the lake twice and listened to Dave Matthews Band- Before These Crowded Streets. It was great music and I was instantly reminded of the first time I listened to the CD. After the lake I headed to the grocery store to stalk up for the week. I bought some bananas because I had the worst charlie horse last night IN MY THIGH. I have had them in my calf before, but never in my thigh. I thought I was going to die last night.
So for dinner tonight I had oatmeal with brown sugar and a banana. It was heavenly and perfect. I will probably have a clementine in a few.
And now I leave you with pictures from the park:
See, a few weeks ago I was asked to be on a kickball team. My team from previous seasons decided to take the spring season off. So, in an attempt to meet some new people I decided to go for it. However, in normal Sarah fashion I had some real apprehensions all morning about the practice and being "the new girl" since this team (Catch it With Yo Face) played last year. So I show up at the park for practice and the guy who invited me to play was out of town. So I know no one! Oh how I love situations like this! (Umm not really) So I make a few introductions and we start to play. We break off into 3 teams, (4-4-3) and we're off. I was able to get on base most times and able to catch a few balls, as well as make a few errors. However, my crowning moments came when I played first base. First I was knocked over by a runner at first base. He felt really bad, but I was ok. Then later in the game a guy kicked a low pop fly right at me. I thought it was about my stomach level, but no. It hit me right in the crotch and bounced. I didn't skip a beat and I picked up the ball and got him out at first. However, everyone else was dying of laughter. Things from "That's gonna leave a mark" to "Catch it with your crotch" were yelled across the field. I am sure my face was bright red, but I was able to laugh about. I then proceed to get the next 2 outs of the inning, so I got all 3 outs! Boo Yeah! (maybe they felt bad for me???) We voted on a new team name, and my mind is failing me right now as to what we voted on.
Today I hung out with my little sister. We went to CPK for lunch. I ate half my BBQ chicken pizza. I was supposed to have dodgeball practice, but that got canceled so we went to the park instead. We swung on the swings, took a nice walk, and even had a "photo shoot." After I dropped her off I headed to the lake. It was seriously to nice to go to the gym, so I walked around the lake twice and listened to Dave Matthews Band- Before These Crowded Streets. It was great music and I was instantly reminded of the first time I listened to the CD. After the lake I headed to the grocery store to stalk up for the week. I bought some bananas because I had the worst charlie horse last night IN MY THIGH. I have had them in my calf before, but never in my thigh. I thought I was going to die last night.
So for dinner tonight I had oatmeal with brown sugar and a banana. It was heavenly and perfect. I will probably have a clementine in a few.
And now I leave you with pictures from the park:
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