Monday, December 01, 2008

Ugh

So I am not even sure where to start with how the day has gone. It started off well. I made it to the gym and then it went downhill from there. The upper part of the gym (i.e. where the MAJORITY of the cardio machines are) is closed this entire week because of the remodel. I know I should be happy that we will eventually be getting more space, but it wasn't really what I needed this week. The downstairs was PACKED. I did my weights and left. I wasn't going to wait around for one of the few cardio machines. I did however have plenty of time to get ready for work.

I ate a huge burrito and chips for dinner. Oh and some red velvet truffles and english toffee to top it off.

I am not going to the gym in the morning. I just can't deal with the crowd. I need to keep telling myself it is only for this week.

I am just starting to feel really disgusted with myself. LIke I am not really sure what has happened over the past 3 months since I got back from Seattle. I don't know where my motivation went. I don't know where my self control went either.

Oh and I think I totally read too much into things regarding everything. Maybe this is a character flaw? Ugh.

I am excited about LA on Thursday, but scared about the food.

15 pounds can you just fall off please?

So not end this post on a downer here are some of my stats from the gym:

max squat: 200 lbs.
max dead lift: 230 lbs.
max leg press: 560 lbs.

4 comments:

Rachel ! said...

Just came across your blog and I'm sorry you're having a crummy time of it right now :( For what it's worth, your gym stats are awesome and something to be really proud of. I hope you'll be able to brush off the difficulties you've been having and keep on keepin' on. It'll be worth it!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Hang in! You'll find your mojo soon!

Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...

You are insanely strong, Sarah. That's amazing.

As far as your malaise about your self-care when it comes to your weight, what's going on in your life that makes you feel overloaded, or makes you feel without, or whatever else? What are you feeding when you eat a giant burrito?

Perhaps you're just hungry, and if so that's okay, but I find that when I'm overeating (especially on foods that aren't exactly healthy), there's something else going on in my life that I'm not dealing with that's encouraging me to think more food will make me feel good.

Sarah said...

Rachel glad you stopped by and welcome! I am originally from Washington state. I almost went to Gonzaga, but instead just did Gonzaga in Florence.

Sally thank you for your comment. You always put things in perspective and have great insight. Looking back, I waited too long to eat dinner. The burrito was what I wanted, but I definitely did not need to eat all the sweets in addition to the burrito.