Tuesday, June 10, 2008

How Did You Meet?

So last night I had a pity party of one. Why? I am not really sure there was any specific reason. But I am sure it had something to do with one of my friends telling me he saw my ex at Target shortly after we had broken up with another girl. Why he told me this on Friday night 8 months later, I have no clue. Why it should even bother me or why I should even care, I am not really sure. Or maybe I just don't want to admit that I secretly wish he would come crawling back? So yeah I started looking at dating profiles on line. And there wasn't anyone who was so amazing I just had to sign up. But a lot of the profiles say similar things and they like to hang it in similar spots as I do. A lot of the guys say the like *my* bar. Why do I never see them there? They like the lake. I never see guys there. They claim to work out. Where are they? Seriously am I just going at weird times and missing them? Or do they really not go to these places as frequently as they claim? My only conclusion is that I am slightly intimidating with my height, confidence, black nail polish, and smarts? Oh and so two of my good friends are guys, but they are short and there is no romantic anything there at all. I think the pity party also had to do with the scale moving up instead of down. Even though it moved up, I feel like I am regaining tone in my legs and arms. So why I was wallowing I ate MORE sodium in the form of salt and pepper kettle chips. Lots of them. But today is a new day. I went to the gym for 2 hours this morning. One of the trainers from boot core waived and smiled at me as I was walking out and said he would see me tomorrow morning. That little moment got my morning off to a great start.

So, after all of that rambling, how did you meet your significant other/ex? Lurkers this is a great time to de-lurk. I dare you to!

17 comments:

countryjacket said...

I am a lurker, who is finally delurking. I "met" my boyfriend when I moved back to my hometown after I got dumped by my ex.

I had known Micheal for years. We went to school togther (he was 2 years ahead of me), my best friend married his brother, and when we were younger he had dated another of my friends.

Anyways, when I got dumped - I came back to my hometown to nurse my wounds. I stared hanging out with my best friend, and Micheal was always around. A friendly flirtation began and pretty soon it developed into something more.

I was not looking for something when I found Micheal. I had just gotten dumped - so men where the last thing on my mind. But that's when I found him....

Be patient, love will find you when it is ready.

Sally Parrott Ashbrook said...

Match.com. He had been on there off and on since its inception (seriously--he had a 'free lifetime membership' when I met him), and I had only been on there a month or two. He was the first Match guy I went out with.

I think you're intimidating to some guys because you are a real package deal even if you don't always recognize it. Online dating can lead to crazy adventures or boring nights, but it can also give people a way to get to know each other when doing so in our culture at this time can be difficult.

Cat_82 said...

I hate that feeling of secretly wishing that the ex would come back....I've had that before. honestly, it took meeting someone else before I lost that feeling....

I think you ARE a little intimidating (in a great way) You're tall, gorgeous and confident, and guys have a hard time with that at times. I would NEVER suggest changing or altering who you are to meet guys...it will just take that right guy with the balls to approach you....It WILL happen.

I tried the online dating thing, and met a few nice guys. Nothing really developed out of them, but I have great stories.... Lots of friends of mine have met their partners online though...

PMB4EVER said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aimee said...

Ok I'm de-lrking as well. I met mine on Match.com. It took a long (LONG) road of healing before I was ready for him. My ex moved out while I was at work on a friday. And in with his new GF (who was 18 with 2 kids and pregnant). Yea so that made me feel like crap! But I tried the bar, the gym, the anywhere you can think of to meet guys theory. Nothing worked and I turned to match. It took about 4 months and lots of bad eggs before I found him though. Keep hope alive sweety. It will happen!

neneabean said...

I met my boyfriend at work.

When I moved to Portland from California three years ago, I didn't have a job or a place to live. My first day here, I interviewed for an administrative position at his company. It wasn't a very good job, but I was desperate! He hired me, (he was the HR director) and was my supervisor. But oops - we fell in love! I got a new job, which was a much better job anyway.

When I was single I used to meet a lot of men in bookstores and coffee shops. Bars were tough!

Nikki said...

I met Chris at a Wilco concert. I went to it by myself, because my friend Angie, who was the only person I knew at that point who liked them, was 8 mos pregnant and didn't want to go.

Chris was there alone too, and standing around by himself. We started talking during the opening act, and wound up going to a bar together afterwards. And cheesy as it sounds, I knew at the bar that night I would marry him. I never EVER had that feeling before, and it totally weirded me out!

Shayna said...

John and I met on the nancies mailing list (RIP)

Poonie said...

Hi! Another lurker speaking out!

I bet some guys are intimidated by you because you're tall, gorgeous and smart and not everyone can handle that. Think of it as a natural weeding process though, it keeps the wrong guys away.

I met my bf online too and I'm thrilled there are others claiming the same. We met on one of the Friendfinder sites and were merely pen pals in the beginning - he in California and me in London. We wrote emails for a while, about 3-4 months, and finally met when he came to London on vacation with his family (this was already planned before we "met" online). We hit it off right away and spent all his vacation hanging out together, going to the places I had told him about in my emails. We did the long distance thing for over 2 years, visiting back and forth every 3 or 4 months. It was tough. Thank goodness for email, phones, Skype texting and IM! He finally moved here after that and I get to have a "real" bf!

tash said...

I'm a lurker de-lurking! I met my husband . . . as a one night stand! We were 18 and met through mutual friends and hit it off right away . . . ;) Neither of us had ever done anything like that before. But it's been almost 10 years now, and we've been married for over 2 of those.

Guys are always intimidated by beautiful smart women who have thier lives together. The ones who are not are the ones worth keeping.

My blog is private but email be at wirtanen@dal.ca if you want access.

Krissie said...

Ah, the story that Nathan denies.

It was the first Ninja Turtles movie - circa 1990, maybe? Nathan and his group of boys were throwing popcorn at and flirting with my group of girls. We knew of some of them because of our rival middle school academic teams. But that was my first introduction to Nate. He denies that he was throwing popcorn - he would never defy rules like that. Whatever.

We became good friends in high school - close friends our junior and senior years. We stayed close and started dating senior year in college. So no big story, just a natural progression.

Mal said...

I hear you -- being also tall and smart. (Of course, I have my weight to "hide behind" for now...)

I am currently dating someone -- 2 years and counting -- and we met on match.com. I found a lot of men on there were willing to date me in spite of a) my height and b) my weight. I had to be willing to go out with shorter guys, but I got a lot of dates and had a lot of fun.

It was a real confidence boost for me.

My boyfriend was the last person I agreed to meet after I had canceled my membership.

I went into the match.com thing with a really open mind. I just wanted to build up some dating skill and experience. I also had a good attitude about it, knowing that I would meet some real stinkers, and told people that I was really in it for the crazy stories. I got plenty of those!

I also told myself that I would be willing to go out with anyone who asked me, so long as they weren't obviously an axe murderer. Some of my best stories came from just going out with someone who was outside of my "preferred" ideal. I had so much fun...

One of my best friends today is someone that I met on match.com. He couldn't get past the weight thing for chemistry, but we had so much fun together that we still hang out 3 or 4 times a month. Great friend.

More important than anything, I think, is to give up your hang-ups. Yeah, you're tall and smart. That's intimidating to many -- but not all. Stick to your guns, radiate confidence, and you'll attract people.

Chasing Daylight* said...

We taught at the same school - - he was the geeky phys ed/science teacher with a nice body and I was me. One day at the end of the school year he asked to come over to bake something for his basketball fundraiser...it took me awhile to realize what was going on (my Mum actually had to point it out) and well, I fell.

We know how that ended though :-)

I wonder if I am still waiting for him to come crawling back too...

Gayla said...

I am delurking. I met my husband online at match.com. We have been married for five years now. I had just ended a three year dead end relationship and was just looking for someone to hang out with and have fun. I responded to his ad on a Friday night. We met for dinner the following Wednesday night. From that moment, we started a long distance relationship. We dated for two months. Got engaged. Got married 6 months later.

I think most men are intimidated by beautiful, successful, confident women. But as someone previously commented, there are men out there with balls big enough to appreciate a woman with your qualities. Don’t give up!

becklette said...

(delurking sounds so silly, but i've been reading you off and on and just started my blog two days ago.)

our best friends got married and we were matched up in their wedding (having never met before but heard each other's names a million times) and met for the first time at the alter. they're getting divorced now, be we've been married almost two years and couldn't be happier together.

anna said...

i met my husband in high school. though we didn't start dating until 8 years later when he was living with my brother. maybe that's because i am 5'10" and he's 5'7" we both had an attraction but didn't think the other would go for it. funny.

however, i did date a few guys that i met at bars or clubs but only if one of my friends knew them from somewhere else(school, work, etc). i had a rule not to date anyone i met at a bar or club unless i could get outsider information that was reliable.

i never had any luck being set up by friends.

one thing i will say is that i got better and better over time at getting over the ex's. man, i dated a lot of guys. and the quicker you just cut the guy off completely and don't look back, the quicker you can move on to something better. i got to the point where i was like a guy about break ups...don't even call me the next day because i'm already over it...even if i was still dying inside. self control goes a long way. and the universe seems to pay you back for hard work.

Sarah said...

I love the responses on this one! Thank you ladies!