Why can't it be easy????

I have not been to the gym since Monday. I am going after work today. I am either really good or I just say fuck it all. I am such a stress and emotional eater. I am not sure I like my WW leader, but I love my group members.

I have eaten bad the past 2 1/2 days. It started with chips, salsa, 1 beer and a pretzel sandwhich on Monday oh and some dark chocolate covered almonds. Tuesday was followed by more dark chocolate covered almonds, tootsie rolls, kissables (I don't even like them that much!), left over chinese, peanut butter and jelly on a wheat tortilla, 2 slices pizza, and cake batter. Oh yeah and my heart was racing at night and I HATE the way I feel after I eat that much but that didn't stop me.

I came into work KNOWING I had to weigh in today. What do I do? I proceed to eat sweets. GAHHHH!! I then went to Logan's after I weighed in at 200 lbs where I had 3 rolls, peanuts, a baked potato, and broccoli. I seriously want to cry right now.

And this post is ridiculously whinny, but I feel better for typing it out.

I am putting a lot of pressure on myself like I always do to lose X and X amount by such and such a date. When is it going to stop? Will it ever? Will I ever be satisfied with my body? I have gotten more complements then I can ever remember getting in the past 4 days. Why do I do this to myself??????