Sunday, April 25, 2004

arggh, It has been a tough week. On Tuesday I was still at 264. I am sort of getting frustrated. Even though I really haven't been loosing weight, I have noticed a definite change in my body. SO yeah for that! However, I feel as though I have been eating crap all this week! That is not good. I will get back on plan today! For breakfast I had a mixed fruit cup for 1 point and a Special K Breakfast bar for 2 points brining my total up to 3 points for the day. I have allready had 3 glass of water today too! I will be on my way to gym in about in hour!

This week has also been hard because of the guy I had a crush on. Well, the crush is over, but we are still friends. Over the past couple of weeks I have just realized some stuff about myself and him. Maybe he isn't that perfect person I once thought he was, but that doesn't mean we still can't be friends. I basically realized I am nothing like any of the other girls he hangs out with. Also he yelled at me on Tuesday when I was trying to help him. Long story short he skipped class and went to a soccer game, he should have been there to turn in the HW assignment, he wasn't, prof said that those who weren't there had until 9 PM to turn it in or else they would have to write the paper from hell. A friend and I called him he got mad at me asked me to come get him and then said he would get a ride to campus, but wanted to look at my notebook. I went out of my way to give him my notebook and he fucking yelled at me! I know he was stressed, but I was trying to help him out. He called later that night to apoligize. So basically I have stopped initiating phone conversation. If he calls me I will call him back. So far this week he has called me about 4 times. He wanted to know if I wanted to go to the museum on Friday because students got in free and he remembered from a long time ago that I had wanted to go. I went on Thursday so I told him thanks, but no thanks. Before I probably would have gone again. Not now. A whole bunch of other stuff happened, but I am not going to go into that right now. So this week should be interesting.

Also, I have come to the realization that my weight loss has to be for me and not for anyone else. Sure it is great to recieve complements and they help keep me motivated, but I can not let the be my main motivation. I am doing this for myself. I have achieved everything else I have wanted up till this point except weight loss. I KNOW I can do it!

I will be back on plan this week!

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